The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
I am nothing without pretend
I know my faults
Can't live with them
I am nothing without a man
I know my thoughts
But I can't hide them
Must you keep my baby teeth
In the bedside table with my jewelry
You still sleep in the bed with me
My jewelry, and my baby teeth
I don't need another friend
When most of them
I can barely keep up with them
Perfectly able to hold my own hand
But I still can't kiss my own neck
I wanted yo give you everything
But I still stand in awe of superficial things
I wanted to love you like
My mother's mother's mother's did
Civilian, civilian
I know my faults
Can't live with them
I am nothing without a man
I know my thoughts
But I can't hide them
Must you keep my baby teeth
In the bedside table with my jewelry
You still sleep in the bed with me
My jewelry, and my baby teeth
I don't need another friend
When most of them
I can barely keep up with them
Perfectly able to hold my own hand
But I still can't kiss my own neck
I wanted yo give you everything
But I still stand in awe of superficial things
I wanted to love you like
My mother's mother's mother's did
Civilian, civilian
Lyrics submitted by HELLisHERE, edited by TheEggroll, SongMeanings, Defelin, actoroutofwork, flashbulbeyes, thebutterthief, remembuary, miel716, elblossom, micheal116
Civilian Lyrics as written by Jennifer Lynn Wasner
Lyrics © ROUGH TRADE PUBLISHING, Songtrust Ave, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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Such a beautiful song.... here's my interpretation- I'm surprised nobody has suggested the same yet:
I find this to be about holding onto a past relationship and placing your happiness in another's hands. She knows the way she feels is "wrong" but she still can't help it.... sometimes you know you need to let go of someone or you see your own flaws but you can't bring yourself to get over it. The line about keeping her baby teeth suggests that she's sentimental and has always had a hard time with letting go of the past, and the "you still sleep in the bed with me" suggests that she's still not over a past lover. The ex is probably just trying to be friends, but she doesn't want that... she already has more friends than she can keep up with as it is... she just needs someone to love. I don't really understand the civilian reference at the end either.
Can't get this off repeat. I wish I didn't relate to these lyrics so much...
I think you're spot on with this. That's about the gist of what I was thinking, but you tied all the ends together too.
Gah, exactly what I was thinking, only more thorough. :)
You're spot on. <br /> <br /> I think 'civilian' refers to the fact both she and her partner have gone on to become just people to each other (because they can't be lovers or friends). Much like when you're discharged or leave the army or a police force - these groups literally form life-partnerships, because their lives will sometimes depend on each other's support - , you go on to be "just a civilian."<br /> <br /> That's my take on it.
It's heartbreaking.
"I am nothing without pretend I know my my thoughts Can't live with them I am nothing without a man I know my faults but I can't hide them"
She is stuck in that trap that many girls fall into, pretending that things are different than they are, pretending to be someone she isn't, unable to live with the truth of herself and her feelings. She feels she is defined by the man in her life and "is nothing without him". She knows this is wrong, but can't help it.
"I still keep my baby teeth in the bedside table with my jewelry You still sleep in the bed with me, my jewelry and my baby teeth You still sleep in the bed with me My jewelry and my baby teeth"
She keeps the things she has lost that once were a part of her close, she keeps the things that she adorns herself with close. Her man is both; she has already lost him, and whether he is still "physically" there or not, she still keeps the idea of him there in that realm of illusion and comfort, he "still is a part of her" when he's not anymore, she still "wears him on her arm" although he's gone
"I don't need another friend When most of them I can barely keep up with them I'm perfectly able to hold my own hand But I still can't kiss my own neck"
Her reaction to the "let's still be friends" She doesn't NEED another goddamn friend- in fact, she's racked up enough of the boyfriend-who-left-her, "lets-be-friends", can't keep up with them. She can get her friendship need met; hold her own hand, what she NEEDS is a LOVER; can't kiss her own neck.
"I wanted to give you everything But I still stand in awe of superficial things I wanted to love you like my mother's mother's mother did, Civilian"
She wanted to make it work, wanted to give the failed relationship her all, Be real, be loving, be the ultimate old fashioned love, but she's hung up with her own humanity, her flaws, her superficiality As far as "civilan", that's a big one. I think of "civilian" more as the innocent masses, as opposed to what would be the opposite; the military, the law. She's saying the man was an innocent; she brought the war, she brought the rules, and he was caught in crossfire and left her, and that ONE word signifies her acknowledgement of that; that SHE is the one chasing off these men that she clings to so desperately. Beautiful, haunting, simple, and yet so deep and common I think everyone can relate to it in one way or another
Oops, sorry for the repetitive typos, my computer was acting up!
@Terin \r\nI think you\'ve captured it quite well. But I would interpret something differently. She sings about wanting to love him like her great-grandmother. Civilized. A little further up, it\'s about how she\'s nothing without a man. That will have been more or less the attitude of her grandmother. Probably. It used to be that way most of the time. But the "till the end of her days" doesn\'t have the same meaning today. That can be demoralizing for some if you have a different idea of love and marriage. Even more so when you realize that it was never perfect either.
good job with these. i just hear this part reversed, like so:
i am nothing without pretend i know my THOUGHTS can't live with them i am nothing without a man i know my FAULTS but i can't hide them (also thought she was saying CAN here, but not sure)
you're right about them being reversed. she also does say can and not can't
My quibble is minor, but I believe correct: "Pretend" should lead the second line, not end the first. [I am nothing without], [Pretend I know my thoughts].<br /> <br /> I second TheWrongGirl's edit. And you're right about [Can] as opposed to [Can't].<br /> <br /> As for [A man] vs. [Amend], it's most definitely [A man]. If it were [amend], it would be plural, not singular, and [A man] fits better within the context.
for me it just sounds like a relationship/marriage slowly falling apart, the loneliness you feel when youre with someone. an emotional history that silently weighs on them, and growing older. ..she needs it (the relationship), but cant give it everything it needs to work ..he's still there (bodily, if not in mind), but has given up on them actually going to work it out, essentially they both see its over..so until the inevitable breakup all they have is the memories, and pretend.
Hence my user name. So much for karoke.
christ. learn to spell before you go trolling
This song seems to me like it's written from the perspective of a woman who's relationship has ended. The line about 'you still sleep in the bed with me' is, I think, more metaphorical. Like they linger there in her memory. The 'baby teeth' line kind of ties into it, describing a person who really holds onto their past tightly.
"Civilian" suggests a non-combatant, an unarmed person caught in the crossfire. In this case, it could refer to the singer's lover (ex-?), who walked into her emotional crossfire, so to speak. I think this works better than the other connotation of "civilian" (that is, an outsider to some group). The rest of the song dwells on the singer's emotional complexity, insecurities, and regrets, suggesting that her lover entered into the relationship unprepared for her intensity.
Oh, so she's basically singing about my life.<br />
i think youve got it. hes a civilian in her crossfire..
Regarding the thoughts/faults ordering, she clearly sings it both ways at different times (lyrically it works either way). And it is "can hide them." There are about a half dozen acoustic videos of her doing the song on YouTube to check out. She always does sing "without amend," however. How people are hearing "without a man" is beyond me. Wishful thinking perhaps...
Ok, the "official" lyrics say without a man so that is what it is. It must be the Baltimore accent that makes man sound like men(d). Amend is lyrically much better in the context but it is her song.
frick this is so good. seems to be about insecurities..
This is what I'm hearing. Especially the "amend" part because it makes more sense than "a man."
I am nothing without pretend I know my thoughts can't live with them I am nothing without amend I know my faults but I can hide them
"I don't need another friend When most of them I can barely keep up with them"
I totally feel this line with me, because it's true, I can't keep up with my friends, because all are all apart and they have nothing to do with most of others, so I'm always juggling with some, so when someone falls out of me... I feel guilty and horrible, and I try my best sometimes, and sometimes I just can't help but let 'em slip out...
This song is totally about insecurities, and I feel too about feeling uneasy with being an adult and fear of letting go of the childhood. The second verse is a total example of this. Great song, totally loved it.