I'm reading a little more into this song than most folks seem to be... to me, it's not just a friendship that's been destroyed, but a life that's about to be.
It seems to me that the singer has grown up with this friend all through childhood and adolescence, and now the friend has gotten involved with someone who is abusive, and it just keeps getting worse.
Abused folks are often dependent, and the phrase "I said you don't need my voice girl
you have your own
but you never thought it was enough of" strikes me as that... someone who can't speak for themselves and so other perople speak for them, controlling them.
"Sand under his shoes" is a pretty low thing to be, and naturally, when she confronts her friend about it, they fight, "go at each other like blank ettes."
The lively friend she had is gone, so far gone that she appears dead inside... "and now I speak to you are you in there you have her face and her eyes but you are not her"
And the singer is afraid that it's going to end in tragedy. That her friend is either going to suicide or be killed by the abuse. She's like to be able to turn away, I think, but she loves the friend too much.
It's a terrible position to be in: "can't stop loving, can't stop what is on its way, and I see it coming, and it's on its way."
@Doom Shepherd This is also my interpretation of the song. I saw her perform this in Glasgow on the 'Under The Pink' tour. She played it on a toy piano at the front of the stage. Very, very haunting.
@Doom Shepherd This is also my interpretation of the song. I saw her perform this in Glasgow on the 'Under The Pink' tour. She played it on a toy piano at the front of the stage. Very, very haunting.
@Doom Shepherd Wow, I do believe you nailed it! For a time, I was thinking perhaps they were refugees—in a camp together or something (blanket friends, after all), and I can still imagine that being the case, BUT I find your interpretation more powerful/salient. As someone who was IN an abusive relationship (and I do believe I would have died if I didn’t get out when I did), I can verify this idea of “you have her face…but you are not her,” as I often try to explain to ppl that I was so far gone—the constant brainwashing plus the...
@Doom Shepherd Wow, I do believe you nailed it! For a time, I was thinking perhaps they were refugees—in a camp together or something (blanket friends, after all), and I can still imagine that being the case, BUT I find your interpretation more powerful/salient. As someone who was IN an abusive relationship (and I do believe I would have died if I didn’t get out when I did), I can verify this idea of “you have her face…but you are not her,” as I often try to explain to ppl that I was so far gone—the constant brainwashing plus the survival impulse to not make the abuser mad, to name a couple causes—that I was not the “me” I am now; it feels very much like I have had multiple personalities b/c of this! At any rate, I had a best friend trying to reach me—as long ago as all this was, if I played this for her with this interpretation, I’m sure she’d agree and probably cry! Finally, I’ve seen friends begin down similar roads, and the feeling of helplessness is just beyond. Abuse reduces ppl to nothing, to “dirt under his shoes,” (there were cardboard cutouts of the women who had been killed by their partners in our city that year, eight with their names tacked to their chest. They were made for an awareness event, but walking past them every day—I think that might be what saved me. I didn’t want to become a cardboard cutout, a statistic, dirt under his shoes. It snapped me out of it), and abuse always gets worse once a certain line is crossed. If for some reason someone is reading this who is in an abusive relationship, look up “safe homes rape crisis,” this organization will aid you and save your life if you need it!
Well, didn’t intend on writing all that, but seemed called for. As always, Tori digs to the depths of the soul, finds where the love and pain are, and turns them into something beautiful.
I'm reading a little more into this song than most folks seem to be... to me, it's not just a friendship that's been destroyed, but a life that's about to be.
It seems to me that the singer has grown up with this friend all through childhood and adolescence, and now the friend has gotten involved with someone who is abusive, and it just keeps getting worse.
Abused folks are often dependent, and the phrase "I said you don't need my voice girl you have your own but you never thought it was enough of" strikes me as that... someone who can't speak for themselves and so other perople speak for them, controlling them.
"Sand under his shoes" is a pretty low thing to be, and naturally, when she confronts her friend about it, they fight, "go at each other like blank ettes."
The lively friend she had is gone, so far gone that she appears dead inside... "and now I speak to you are you in there you have her face and her eyes but you are not her"
And the singer is afraid that it's going to end in tragedy. That her friend is either going to suicide or be killed by the abuse. She's like to be able to turn away, I think, but she loves the friend too much.
It's a terrible position to be in: "can't stop loving, can't stop what is on its way, and I see it coming, and it's on its way."
@Doom Shepherd This is also my interpretation of the song. I saw her perform this in Glasgow on the 'Under The Pink' tour. She played it on a toy piano at the front of the stage. Very, very haunting.
@Doom Shepherd This is also my interpretation of the song. I saw her perform this in Glasgow on the 'Under The Pink' tour. She played it on a toy piano at the front of the stage. Very, very haunting.
@Doom Shepherd Wow, I do believe you nailed it! For a time, I was thinking perhaps they were refugees—in a camp together or something (blanket friends, after all), and I can still imagine that being the case, BUT I find your interpretation more powerful/salient. As someone who was IN an abusive relationship (and I do believe I would have died if I didn’t get out when I did), I can verify this idea of “you have her face…but you are not her,” as I often try to explain to ppl that I was so far gone—the constant brainwashing plus the...
@Doom Shepherd Wow, I do believe you nailed it! For a time, I was thinking perhaps they were refugees—in a camp together or something (blanket friends, after all), and I can still imagine that being the case, BUT I find your interpretation more powerful/salient. As someone who was IN an abusive relationship (and I do believe I would have died if I didn’t get out when I did), I can verify this idea of “you have her face…but you are not her,” as I often try to explain to ppl that I was so far gone—the constant brainwashing plus the survival impulse to not make the abuser mad, to name a couple causes—that I was not the “me” I am now; it feels very much like I have had multiple personalities b/c of this! At any rate, I had a best friend trying to reach me—as long ago as all this was, if I played this for her with this interpretation, I’m sure she’d agree and probably cry! Finally, I’ve seen friends begin down similar roads, and the feeling of helplessness is just beyond. Abuse reduces ppl to nothing, to “dirt under his shoes,” (there were cardboard cutouts of the women who had been killed by their partners in our city that year, eight with their names tacked to their chest. They were made for an awareness event, but walking past them every day—I think that might be what saved me. I didn’t want to become a cardboard cutout, a statistic, dirt under his shoes. It snapped me out of it), and abuse always gets worse once a certain line is crossed. If for some reason someone is reading this who is in an abusive relationship, look up “safe homes rape crisis,” this organization will aid you and save your life if you need it! Well, didn’t intend on writing all that, but seemed called for. As always, Tori digs to the depths of the soul, finds where the love and pain are, and turns them into something beautiful.