The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
The mystery man came over
And he said I'm outta sight
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote his attention to me
But I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Look here brother, don't waste your time on me
The mystery man got nervous and he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Now I thought it was a razor
And a can of foaming goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of aphrodite, and the dust of the grand wazoo
He said you might not believe this, little fella
But it'll cure your asthma too
And I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?
Look here brother, don't waste your time on me
(Don't waste your time)
I've got troubles of my own, I said
And you can't help me out
So, take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up your snout
But I got the crystal ball, he said
And held it to the light
So I snatched it, all away from him
And I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I looked like I was deep
I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
I told him he was going to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
And everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future, then
As long as he was hanging around
I said the price of meat has just gone up
And your old lady has just gone down
Look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
Don't you know, you could make more money as a butcher?
So, don't waste your time on me
Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me (om shanti, om shanti, om shanti, shanti)
And he said I'm outta sight
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote his attention to me
But I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Look here brother, don't waste your time on me
The mystery man got nervous and he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Now I thought it was a razor
And a can of foaming goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of aphrodite, and the dust of the grand wazoo
He said you might not believe this, little fella
But it'll cure your asthma too
And I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?
Look here brother, don't waste your time on me
(Don't waste your time)
I've got troubles of my own, I said
And you can't help me out
So, take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up your snout
But I got the crystal ball, he said
And held it to the light
So I snatched it, all away from him
And I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I looked like I was deep
I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
I told him he was going to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
And everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future, then
As long as he was hanging around
I said the price of meat has just gone up
And your old lady has just gone down
Look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
Don't you know, you could make more money as a butcher?
So, don't waste your time on me
Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me (om shanti, om shanti, om shanti, shanti)
Lyrics submitted by nicole, edited by JarheadJim
Cosmik Debris Lyrics as written by Frank Zappa
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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I gotta say it could be about either. It is all up to interpretation, which is how Frank would want it to be anyway. Think for yourself!
IMO I've always heard it as a anti-drug song. Being against drugs myself its the best, coolest anthem for being sober ever.
i dunno but i think that this song is making fun of religion?
He is talking about the meta-physical gurus of the 70's not drug use, that kind of stuff didnt do anything for atheist frank and he told them all off.
Actually, Gimpy Jim has it right. Despite popular beleif, Zappa was very much against any and all drugs.
The Cosmik Debris are the drugs, cosmik like psychedelic far out etc.
"He said, for a nominal service charge, I could reach nervonna t'nite"
For a little money, he could purchase some drugs and get so high he'd fee like he was in nirvana from the drug enduced pleasure.
The shaving kit was more than likely heroin, as that's how most people carried that stuff (see the movie "Ray" for example)
It's basically Zappa saying that all the dealers that saw him as such a far out musician thought he was some kind of druggie and thought they could make some money selling him drugs should look to do business elsewhere, because he's above such things.
no way incinerate is right its obviously about maharishi and those 70s gurus - especially the part about the crystal ball and devoting attention to me etc
Zappa hated drugs but theres no way he was self-righteous enough to right a song about how he was too good for them
Punctuation: it is your friend.
That whole line about a real poncho or a Sears poncho is also in "Camarillo Brillo" on the album "Over-Nite Sensation." Just thought that was a fun thing worth noting.
Zappa is always doing that. <br /> From song to song and LP to LP. <br /> (ie) Zircon encrusted tweezers, character of Suzi Cream cheese and "poodle chews it" from OVERNITE to APOSTROPHE....
What is your Conceptual Continuity?
@ferret111 Also, the "Grand Wazoo!"
It's about both. Criticism of drug use for spiritual purposes.
I love this song. I think it's about the guru's but I don't think it couldn't be about drugs. I don't understand the meat joke though. I kind of get it but I don't think I really get it, especially the later butcher reference.
"The price of meat has just gone up, an' yer ol' lady has just gone down..." I think he's inferring that the guru's "ol' lady" is a prostitute.<br /> <br /> The butcher reference, I think, is separate from the meat joke, though. A guru is a Hindu teacher. Most devout Hindu's don't eat meat, because of their belief in reincarnation. So, apparently the speaker is inferring that the guru is incompetent, in a very insulting manner.
@pezdel It is also about tyrants, perhaps, or swindlers who would be violent criminals if they had more "courage."
A guru/shaman/dealer offers a quick and easy way to nirvana/healing/solve your problems, probably referencing psychedelic drugs ("expand your mind man"). The references to spirituality are probably meant to include the religious versions of this as well. Either way it's a guy offering a simple solution to complicated problems in exchange for money.
Frank "does it right" and hypnotizes the guy, steals his things, and tells him the price of meat is going up so he should be a butcher (or something like that). This is how Frank interprets what the Mystery Man does, but he takes the bullshit out and just robs him plain.
@bennjammin Right, Frank is the true "Mystery man."
No, it's an anti-drug song. Frank was opposed to that.... The guy trys to sell him drugs from his shaving kit:
He said, for a nominal service charge, I could reach nervonna t'nite If I was ready, willing 'n able To pay him his regular fee
"There was nothin' his box won't do With the oil of Afro-dytee An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo He said: "You might not believe this, little fella, but it'll cure your Asthma too!" frank tells him to get bent, takes his crystal ball and robs him.