So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
Two months of fun
Two years of pain
Add it up
And get a life of rain
Need to scream
But too ashamed
It's gonna rain it's gonna rain
You wanna go you wanna stay you wanna
You really blew my world
I wanna live and there's only one way
I don't want to die anymore
I want to live it up
I don't want this high anymore
But I can't give it up
I won't live a lie anymore
I need to give you up
Won't you save me
Two months of sun
A life of rain
Add it up
I'm on my own again
Need to scream
I'm so filled with rage
It's gonna rain it's gonna rain
You wanna go you wanna stay you wanna
You really screwed my world
I gotta live but you stand in the way
I'm pullin' out now uh
I don't wanna die anymore
I want to live it up
I don't want this high anymore
But I can't give it up
I won't live a lie anymore
I need to give you up
And oh oh baby did you think that I was strong?
Well oh oh honey can't you see that you were wrong
Oh oh baby did you think that I was strong?
Two years of pain
Add it up
And get a life of rain
Need to scream
But too ashamed
It's gonna rain it's gonna rain
You wanna go you wanna stay you wanna
You really blew my world
I wanna live and there's only one way
I don't want to die anymore
I want to live it up
I don't want this high anymore
But I can't give it up
I won't live a lie anymore
I need to give you up
Won't you save me
Two months of sun
A life of rain
Add it up
I'm on my own again
Need to scream
I'm so filled with rage
It's gonna rain it's gonna rain
You wanna go you wanna stay you wanna
You really screwed my world
I gotta live but you stand in the way
I'm pullin' out now uh
I don't wanna die anymore
I want to live it up
I don't want this high anymore
But I can't give it up
I won't live a lie anymore
I need to give you up
And oh oh baby did you think that I was strong?
Well oh oh honey can't you see that you were wrong
Oh oh baby did you think that I was strong?
Lyrics submitted by SongMeanings
I Don't Wanna Die Anymore Lyrics as written by Gregg Alexander
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
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Now this song here....I relate most to the title of it...straight f n up..I attempted & have had suicidal thoughts off n on since '88. I read the lyrics & see 2 possible meanings. Tho keep in mind, LOTS of songs have no meaning, to the singer, a band member, friend, loved one, 1st love, ending love etc, they're sometime just thrown together to rhyme or more than I expected w/Queen songs, they're is no logic or sense to them but will love admire Queen for infinity. This song I see maybe once in love, break up, his/her life always felt like 2 months of fun; which is a good thing, not long enough to be good tho, & 2 ys of pain. Maybe Had been together (off n on??) 4 years & last 2 years were painful & caused the ending of relationship or friendship. A lot of times the best of things we have then end, we feel like "life is over", what happens when ppl feel like that??? Die....it happened to me in '88 when my 21st truest love ever & I broke up, I was attempting suicide, I thought if he's gone, then I'm gone too. (Luckily he came back & following month i was told I'm pregnant, was pregnant at time of suicide attempt.) So he's saying at 1 point he felt like dieing but at same time he's saying "fuckit, I'm living it up", "I can't let go, eventually I will." Exactly the same for me in 3 ways, dieing, living it up instead & trying to get ex outta my head. I love knowing songwriters meaning yet at same time, I think knowing the meaning ruins the song. You have TO INTERPRET the song in your own way, YOUR OWN LIFE. its much better feeling. Listen to Queens song "too much love will kill you. 99%well interpreted to me/my life. Beautiful