| Coldplay – Swallowed in the Sea Lyrics | 9 years ago |
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I bawled my eyes out the first time I heard it, and it still makes me cry every single time I hear it to this day. Because it perfectly sums up how depression has affected my relationship with my husband from day 1. After all, I developed my chronic depression a year before I even met him. (We've now been together 11 years. I still have chronic depression that is resistant to treatment and that chances are I will have the rest of my life.) Swallowed in the Sea by Coldplay "You cut me down a tree And brought it back to me And that's what made me see Where I was going wrong" Him speaking of how she goes out of her way to make him happy constantly, even though with depression doing so can be a great feat of will and strength to do (mentally and physically), and that makes him realize that he is wrong to be angry about the depressive symptoms causing issues in their relationship. Because she's still a kind compassionate person despite her issues. "You put me on a shelf And kept me for yourself I can only blame myself You can only blame me" Because of the depth of the relationship, and also the neediness that comes with depression, other relationships/friendships fall away and they both become codpendant on one another. He regrets this, and the girl resents that there are now relationship issues between them because he abandoned those other relationships for her when she didn't ask him to. "And I could write a song A hundred miles long Well, that's where I belong And you belong to me" All he can do is what comforts him, which is writing. Writing is his happy place, and she deserves to be happy with him. "And I could write it down Or spread it all around Get lost and then get found Or swallowed in the sea" He loves her and doesn't know how to cope with her depression, how much she hurts. So he just wants to vent and get it out of his system, mix up his thoughts and try and make sense of an illness that has no logic. He sometimes feels very lost and just can't understand it for the most part, but sometimes has brief moments where he can see how it makes sense. Sometimes he even feels like he's swallowed her depression, because it is so close to him and affects him so much because it affects her. "You put me on a line And hung me out to dry And darling that's when I Decided to go to sea" Talking about fights they've had, in which she tried to explain to him the "logic" of her depression: why she thinks the way depression makes her think, and how it affects her thoughts, mood, her life. He can't wrap his head around it. The arguments are intense and both come out feeling frustrated, and she often just has to try and put him in his place and remind him that there is no real "logic" to this disease. As hard as it is to accept. He decides to just wade into the problem and ask her to explain it it all and he agrees to actually listen, and try and understand, instead of arguing. "You cut me down to size And opened up my eyes Made me realize What I could not see" Having those brutal honest discussions, and her laying it all out on the table for him. Tell him what depression for her is and what it isn't (despite what he may think)- and him finally understanding what all having depression can really mean, how much it can really affect a person every minute of their life, and in every way. "And I could write a book The one they'll say that shook The world, and then it took It took it back from me" He could write a book on his jumbled and intense feelings, there is just so much. How this makes things so complicated and emotional that it feels like the earth itself might come apart, how it effects both of them. "And I could write it down Or spread it all around Get lost and then get found And you'll come back to me Not swallowed in the sea" He just wants to get rid of or express these feelings. But more than anything he wants her to be able to come out of the depression. The depression that has swallowed her whole, that sucks the life out her, that can get so bad that the real her is gone, that can get so severe it could kill her. He just wants the real her, the happy her- not the person that to come back "The streets you're walking on A thousand houses long Well, that's where I belong And you belong with me" The journey she's taking with treatment and trying to find a way to cope, is a terribly terribly long one. With many treatments and issues that must be explored, and maybe along that road or even at the end there may be a solution or way she can cope and be happy again. But he wants to be there with her, taking that journey with her and supporting her the whole way. "Oh what good is it to live With nothing left to give Forget but not forgive Not loving all you see" Him understanding her suicidal ideation, and saying that yes, I understand you feel this way. But this is why you have to keep going, and you have to find something works. A medication, a treatment, something, anything. Keep looking, it is worth it to get that love for life back. "Oh the streets you're walking on A thousand houses long Well that's where I belong And you belong with me Not swallowed in the sea" Him saying he belongs with her, no matter what. No matter how much the depression rages and causes horrible issues with life and with their relationship. He wants to be with her, and he wants to help her find herself again- The self she's lost in the depression. That she doesn't deserve this hell she's going through, she deserves happiness. "You belong with me Not swallowed in the sea Yeah, you belong with me Not swallowed in the sea" She deserves to be happy with him, not swallowed or drowning in the relentless unforgiving hell that is chronic depression. |
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| Coldplay – Swallowed in the Sea Lyrics | 9 years ago |
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@[skinnylove13:727] This is what I've always felt this song to be about, at least for me. The first time I heard it I bawled like a baby, and it still makes me cry every single time I hear it. My husband has been with me for 11 years, and I've had chronic depression for 12 years. I feel like "swallowed in the sea" is such a perfect metaphor for depression. I know that he wants me to be with him, and even more for me to find my way and find my way back to that person I use to be before the illness sucked me down and sucked the life out of me.. so I can be happy, and be happy with him. I cry becuase I'm not sure that will ever happen. Chances are I will have this mental illness the rest of my life, and it's very resistant to treatment. The last verse is especially tear jerking becuase of how often I am suicidal and just want to give up. I don't want to be swallowed in the sea, and neither does he.. but in the sea, all but drowning, I remain. |
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