1
Do you mean this horny creep
Set upon weary feet
Who looks in need of sleep
That doesn't come
This twisted, tortured mess
This bed of sinfulness
Who's longing for some rest
And feeling numb
What do you expect of me
What is it you want?
Whatever you've planned for me
I'm not the one
A vicious appetite
Visits me each night
And won't be satisfied
Won't be denied
An unbearable pain
A beating in my brain
That leaves the mark of Cain
Right here inside
What am I supposed to do?
When everything that I've done
Is leading me to conclude
I'm not the one
Whatever I've done
I've been staring down the barrel of a gun
Whatever I've done
I've been staring down the barrel of a gun
Whatever I've done
Whatever, whatever
Is there something you need from me?
Are you having your fun?
I never agreed to be
Your holy one
Whatever I've done
I've been staring down the barrel of a gun
Whatever I've done
Whatever, whatever
I've been staring down the barrel of a gun
Whatever I've done
Whatever, whatever
I've been staring down the barrel of a gun
Set upon weary feet
Who looks in need of sleep
That doesn't come
This twisted, tortured mess
This bed of sinfulness
Who's longing for some rest
And feeling numb
What do you expect of me
What is it you want?
Whatever you've planned for me
I'm not the one
A vicious appetite
Visits me each night
And won't be satisfied
Won't be denied
An unbearable pain
A beating in my brain
That leaves the mark of Cain
Right here inside
What am I supposed to do?
When everything that I've done
Is leading me to conclude
I'm not the one
Whatever I've done
I've been staring down the barrel of a gun
Whatever I've done
I've been staring down the barrel of a gun
Whatever I've done
Whatever, whatever
Is there something you need from me?
Are you having your fun?
I never agreed to be
Your holy one
Whatever I've done
I've been staring down the barrel of a gun
Whatever I've done
Whatever, whatever
I've been staring down the barrel of a gun
Whatever I've done
Whatever, whatever
I've been staring down the barrel of a gun
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This song was written by Depeche Mode mastermind Martin Gore, but travails of lead singer Dave Gahan were certainly an inspiration. The song describes a torment and descent into madness that leaves him "staring down the barrel of a gun."
In the early '90s, Gahan developed a nasty drug habit while embracing rock star excess. After a failed suicide attempt in 1995, he began work with the band on the Ultra album, but in May 1996 he nearly died after overdosing on cocaine and heroin in a Los Angeles hotel room, which halted work on the album.
Gahan was charged with drug possession, and ordered to stay clean if he wanted to avoid jail. With the threat of prison looming, he got treatment according to court orders while also working on the album. Eventually, he got clean, but it was quite disruptive for the band, which didn't tour to promote Ultra.
Speaking about "Barrel of a Gun" in a 2017 interview with Entertainment Weekly, he said: "It really describes the way I felt at that time: This creature that was barely existing, but somehow still thought he had it going on [laughs]. Martin was spot-on with his lyrics. I mean, I don't even know if the song was written about me, or for me, or poking at me to say 'For f–k's sake, get your s–t together!' But it worked. I liked it."