So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
I never asked for this burden
I never asked for this cross that I bear on my back
But like an ulcer scratching against my tongue
I can’t leave it alone
So you can find me down at the bottom
With a stomach full of stones
I can’t outrun my fate, it follows like a shadow
I put all of my faith in a saint without a halo
But I won’t die pretending I’m not intending
To see this through until I too become invisible to you
So pull me under, be sure to leave no trace
Never wonder, I see it on your face
What do I have to do to demonstrate
The way it makes me feel and think?
I feel like I could fucking suffocate
And you would barely blink
I could suffocate and you would barely blink
So I’ll sink, searching for an answer
With a stomach full of stones
These thoughts are like a cancer
Growing in my bones
I’ve made this hell my home
Never again, sever the sin from within my soul
The darker half that makes me whole
I was only dreaming
I was never here
I was only dreaming
Of how I’ll disappear
I can’t outrun my fate, it follows like a shadow
I put all of my faith in a saint without a halo
But I won’t die pretending I’m not intending
To see this through until I too become invisible to you
(I was only dreaming)
Invisible to you
(I was never here)
But I won’t die pretending
I’m not intending to see this through
Until I too become invisible to you
I long to leave the past behind
And tear out the thorn that’s in my side
I never asked for this cross that I bear on my back
But like an ulcer scratching against my tongue
I can’t leave it alone
So you can find me down at the bottom
With a stomach full of stones
I can’t outrun my fate, it follows like a shadow
I put all of my faith in a saint without a halo
But I won’t die pretending I’m not intending
To see this through until I too become invisible to you
So pull me under, be sure to leave no trace
Never wonder, I see it on your face
What do I have to do to demonstrate
The way it makes me feel and think?
I feel like I could fucking suffocate
And you would barely blink
I could suffocate and you would barely blink
So I’ll sink, searching for an answer
With a stomach full of stones
These thoughts are like a cancer
Growing in my bones
I’ve made this hell my home
Never again, sever the sin from within my soul
The darker half that makes me whole
I was only dreaming
I was never here
I was only dreaming
Of how I’ll disappear
I can’t outrun my fate, it follows like a shadow
I put all of my faith in a saint without a halo
But I won’t die pretending I’m not intending
To see this through until I too become invisible to you
(I was only dreaming)
Invisible to you
(I was never here)
But I won’t die pretending
I’m not intending to see this through
Until I too become invisible to you
I long to leave the past behind
And tear out the thorn that’s in my side
Lyrics submitted by EternalTearsOfSorrow
Dissipate Lyrics as written by Daniel Furnari Rick Schneider
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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This track speaks of being stricken with a heavy load to bear in one's life that they could never prepare for. Furthermore, they can't discard this so they are forced to take it with them everywhere as it is there sentence.