Jaded

I feel alone in my body
I feel a silence underneath
In these valleys of blood
In these rivers of rust
Shoulder all the blame again
Mirror locked until the end
It was violent and rough
I was never enough

But what if I was stable enough to wind me down the road
Like a remora swims?
But what if I was inside a thousand lives to give my ghost?
It's never enough, it's never enough

And I've always been ashamed that I wanna
Fall into a dream with my honour desecrated
Blood is jaded
I've never found a way to be honest
All I know is a place where I haunted memories faded
Blood is jaded

In my dreams all I see is a crimson key
Tethered by a falling string
Meant to turn in the lock for me
I can't leave so I justify
Interloper of confidence
Under pressure of influence
Not a curse that I caused
Never to rot

What if I was? (What if I was?)
What if I was?
(It's never enough, it's never enough)

And I've always been ashamed that I wanna
Fall into a dream with my honour desecrated
Blood is jaded
I've never found a way to be honest
All I know is a place where I haunted memories faded
Blood is jaded

I know where I wanna go
But you know that it's too close
And you know that it's too late this time

And I've always been ashamed that I wanna
Fall into a dream with my honour

I've never found a way to be honest
All I know is a place where I haunted memories faded
Blood is jaded
And I've always been ashamed that I wanna
Fall into a dream with my honour desecrated
Blood is jaded
I've never found a way to be honest
All I know is a place where I haunted memories faded
Love is jaded

(What if I was?)