The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
You ought to as Mr. Mistoffelees!
The origional Conjuring cat
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mister Mistoffelees Conjuring Turn
And you'll all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
He is quiet, he is small he is plack
From the ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always decieving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife for a fork
And you think it merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it is gone!
But you find it next week lying out on the lawn
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Well! My manner is vague and aloof
You would think there is nobody shyer
But my voice has been heard on the roof
When I was curled up by the fire
And I've sometimes been heard by the fire
When I was about on the roof
At least they all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof of my singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call me in from the garden for hours
While I was asleep in the hall
And not long ago this phenominal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
The origional Conjuring cat
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mister Mistoffelees Conjuring Turn
And you'll all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
He is quiet, he is small he is plack
From the ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always decieving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife for a fork
And you think it merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it is gone!
But you find it next week lying out on the lawn
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Well! My manner is vague and aloof
You would think there is nobody shyer
But my voice has been heard on the roof
When I was curled up by the fire
And I've sometimes been heard by the fire
When I was about on the roof
At least they all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof of my singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call me in from the garden for hours
While I was asleep in the hall
And not long ago this phenominal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Lyrics submitted by musicalcure
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In regards to the meaning of this song:
Before a live performance on the EP Five Stories Falling, Geoff states “It’s about the last time I went to visit my grandmother in Columbus, and I saw that she was dying and it was the last time I was going to see her. It is about realizing how young you are, but how quickly you can go.”
That’s the thing about Geoff and his sublime poetry, you think it’s about one thing, but really it’s about something entirely different. But the lyrics are still universal and omnipresent, ubiquitous, even. So relatable. That’s one thing I love about this band. I also love their live performances, raw energy and Geoff’s beautiful, imperfectly perfect vocals. His voice soothes my aching soul.
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