This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Trailed by a mess
Of masking tape construction paper
And the best of intentions
He tried to patch up every hole as he went
Back and forth and back again
And his friends half full of half concerns
Embarrassed looks and tired words
They burrowed deeper into the ignorant
Little lives they preferred
And he envied their distance
Their lack of concern
He thought,
Once I shed the whole of me
Once I shed the whole of me
Then I'll be smiling
He cursed himself
And his instinct to nurse
Every idea to health
And all of the falls that he'd spent
Trying to coax his name from the mouths
Of success
He thought
Once I shed the whole of me
Once I shed the whole of me
Then I'll be smiling.
They litter me with small awareness!
Then they ask if I'm good enough
They litter me with small awareness
Just to wake me up
Why do the fools wake me up?
Of masking tape construction paper
And the best of intentions
He tried to patch up every hole as he went
Back and forth and back again
And his friends half full of half concerns
Embarrassed looks and tired words
They burrowed deeper into the ignorant
Little lives they preferred
And he envied their distance
Their lack of concern
He thought,
Once I shed the whole of me
Once I shed the whole of me
Then I'll be smiling
He cursed himself
And his instinct to nurse
Every idea to health
And all of the falls that he'd spent
Trying to coax his name from the mouths
Of success
He thought
Once I shed the whole of me
Once I shed the whole of me
Then I'll be smiling.
They litter me with small awareness!
Then they ask if I'm good enough
They litter me with small awareness
Just to wake me up
Why do the fools wake me up?
Lyrics submitted by skeeter688
Then I'll Be Smiling Lyrics as written by Matt Nathanson
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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This is my favorite Matt song! I feel this way about quite few of my "friends." Kind of sad to feel so alone when you are surrounded by so many people.
Good Song...better meaning...at least in my eyes..To me this song is about a boy who thinks his friends are too deep in their ignorance yet dont care and dont do anything about it "They burrowed deeper into the ignorant Little lives they preferred" But then this kids like once i get to a better point in life where i know more...thats when ill be smiling because this is all too frustrating right now Then i take.. "Once I shed the whole of me" as him almost evolving like when a caterpillar does from their cacoon into a butterfly and better being so to speak Then.. "They litter me with small awareness' Then they ask if I'm good enough" As him saying that " his friends half full of half concerns" try and lace him with the same things but he doesnt follow it and they dont get why he wants something more out of life "They litter me with small awareness' Just to wake me up Why do the fools wake me up?" I think of this as them trying to distract him away from his dream of being a better person so why are these fools trying to wake him up from it and prevent such a positive dream.....
My favorite Matt Nathanson song by far. To me this song speaks very profoundly of a boy who is alienated by the ignorance of his family and peers. He is frustrated by the fact that he simply cannot bring himself to drop himself to their level to feel the blind happiness they seem to feel in their own little worlds. He is too attached to ideas of progress and of ambition, while they seem, in his eyes, to be happy the way they are. Therefore the chorus tells that in order for him to be happy, he would have to shed every ounce of who he truly is, a frustrating and almost impossible prospect for many.
I imagine a guy trying very hard to fix holes. I think that may be some kind of pitfall or trap that he sees as wrong. and he fumbles around, unable to ignore, trying to fix them. And his instinct to have ideas to fix holes...I feel these ideas lend him a kind of dignity. His his friends, on the other hand, are ignoring these holes blissfully. And although he feels betrayed, He envies also envies their freedom. His own instinct, though good intentioned, has failed.
I think it's just a phase. After he sorts it out he'll get his dignity back and, then HE WILL be smiling.