When you die from an OD you arent thinking you'll die, you're just having fun. When death comes and hits you in the face its not really any ones fault. Seeing someone recoil in horror at what you are when you come back different is purely their pain. He's saying don't feel bad, I'd rather own up to what I've become than leave both of us in regret, and dont you remember that even before this I never cared much about this happening to me? A year after everyone leaves, he realizes that what he did, he did to himself. He says don't worry, I'll be that person again but I still am me. The time spent together was good, but he's going his own way now that they left him. fully understanding the thought that was going through their minds when they gave that look, he takes his own life permanently, unable to deal with the divide, he ends it, in his own way, unable to covey the thoughts to others that would ease their pain, as they were unable to ease his.
When you die from an OD you arent thinking you'll die, you're just having fun. When death comes and hits you in the face its not really any ones fault. Seeing someone recoil in horror at what you are when you come back different is purely their pain. He's saying don't feel bad, I'd rather own up to what I've become than leave both of us in regret, and dont you remember that even before this I never cared much about this happening to me? A year after everyone leaves, he realizes that what he did, he did to himself. He says don't worry, I'll be that person again but I still am me. The time spent together was good, but he's going his own way now that they left him. fully understanding the thought that was going through their minds when they gave that look, he takes his own life permanently, unable to deal with the divide, he ends it, in his own way, unable to covey the thoughts to others that would ease their pain, as they were unable to ease his.