Probably because she's still so strong a presence in my everyday life even 30 these years later, the lyrics to this song always remind me of my first love. Much too long a story to get into, but let's just say that if things could have been different, I'd want us to still be together.
She recognized sooner than I did that we were probably too young to commit to each other for the rest of our lives, and she was probably all the healthier because she could see that.
Although this wasn't what she'd hoped for, I came to believe that we should have a clean and complete break, with no contact once it was over. Not only the selfishness of trying to spare myself the pain I'd feel if and when we had any contact, but also because I was terrified by the fear I had of becoming the ex who can't let go, can't be a genuinely good friend because of my selfish desire to keep us together. I didn't want to become "that guy", and risk driving her to detest me for my weakness and childishness. And I know that's what I would have been. So, in a way, "time has caught her, and will for all reasons, take her".
I've always felt that I have no choice in the matter. I've wished and prayed for the painful longing to go away, been in therapy, but it's never completely gone. Sometimes I'll dream of her - of course, we're still teenagers - and I have smelled her, tasted her kisses and looked into her incredible blue eyes that have flecks of green and silver(!) in them. I used to kiss her fingers all the time (and not because of the song lyrics). It's as if she's alive to me again. I've awoken from many of these dreams in tears, sometimes of sadness, but also sometimes of joy.
Maybe in my dreams, I've sculpted her to relive that wonderful time in my life.
The crescendo which builds into the burst of soaring electric guitar and Jon Anderson's beautiful, evocative vocals, brings such vivid memories of emotions and images that - if I'm not careful - it brings me to tears.
"Was the sign of the day with a touch
As I kiss your fingers
We walk hands in the sun
Memories
When we're young love
Lingers so...
Was it sun, through the haze
That made all your looks
As warm as moonlight
As a pearl, deep your eyes -
Tears have flown away -
All the same light"
Probably because she's still so strong a presence in my everyday life even 30 these years later, the lyrics to this song always remind me of my first love. Much too long a story to get into, but let's just say that if things could have been different, I'd want us to still be together. She recognized sooner than I did that we were probably too young to commit to each other for the rest of our lives, and she was probably all the healthier because she could see that. Although this wasn't what she'd hoped for, I came to believe that we should have a clean and complete break, with no contact once it was over. Not only the selfishness of trying to spare myself the pain I'd feel if and when we had any contact, but also because I was terrified by the fear I had of becoming the ex who can't let go, can't be a genuinely good friend because of my selfish desire to keep us together. I didn't want to become "that guy", and risk driving her to detest me for my weakness and childishness. And I know that's what I would have been. So, in a way, "time has caught her, and will for all reasons, take her". I've always felt that I have no choice in the matter. I've wished and prayed for the painful longing to go away, been in therapy, but it's never completely gone. Sometimes I'll dream of her - of course, we're still teenagers - and I have smelled her, tasted her kisses and looked into her incredible blue eyes that have flecks of green and silver(!) in them. I used to kiss her fingers all the time (and not because of the song lyrics). It's as if she's alive to me again. I've awoken from many of these dreams in tears, sometimes of sadness, but also sometimes of joy. Maybe in my dreams, I've sculpted her to relive that wonderful time in my life. The crescendo which builds into the burst of soaring electric guitar and Jon Anderson's beautiful, evocative vocals, brings such vivid memories of emotions and images that - if I'm not careful - it brings me to tears.
"Was the sign of the day with a touch As I kiss your fingers We walk hands in the sun Memories When we're young love Lingers so... Was it sun, through the haze That made all your looks As warm as moonlight As a pearl, deep your eyes - Tears have flown away - All the same light"
Gotta go find some Kleenex. LOL.
☮