Sometimes it's easier to find comfort in people you don't know and aren't invested in. Perhaps honesty better abides with them. More so than with people you've known and been hurt by your whole life. The "danger" is that they'll continue to be disruptive of her peace if she allows it. "Hangin round the ceiling" is a euphemism for people in her life that are high on drugs/alcohol, or crazy/mentally impaired. People that created chaos in her life and were perhaps so encompassed in their own existence, they had no time for their kids, friends, or family members.
"Compared to some I've been around" is a statement. In other words, people being suspicious of and judging her based on people she's associated with and having to live up or down their expectations. "But I really tried so hard" is a plea. An attempt to explain how she tried her best to overcome and conquer the prejudices and afflictions that plagued her family, and foreshadowing she failed. The "echo chorus" misled her to believe she would/could rise above the demons by reminding herself to "Hold on".
But in the end she was either perceived as too harsh or "mean" in her approach to cut ties and break the cycle.
Giving in wasn't any better because she was inevitably used and abused while her loved one was "in-between" addictions/lovers. Still being pushed to the back of the line. Either way, making a good case to cease communication.
So now she's resided to love the "devil". (her own demons/addictions) And the irony is that's all she's ever learned from those that she loved. They cared more for their "devil" than her.
The last stanza about "leaving the party" brings us into her present. How all of her suffering has led her to encompass the very behavior she's had to suffer. "Valium" her drug of choice takes away the desire, pain, and bitterness that's left in place of her heart. Her naivety in youth allowed her to play victim and hold her own judgements against her family. As time passed she realized she was just as culpable for repeating the patterns in adulthood. That Echo voice still lying to her. She is certain she's already let go.
Sometimes it's easier to find comfort in people you don't know and aren't invested in. Perhaps honesty better abides with them. More so than with people you've known and been hurt by your whole life. The "danger" is that they'll continue to be disruptive of her peace if she allows it. "Hangin round the ceiling" is a euphemism for people in her life that are high on drugs/alcohol, or crazy/mentally impaired. People that created chaos in her life and were perhaps so encompassed in their own existence, they had no time for their kids, friends, or family members. "Compared to some I've been around" is a statement. In other words, people being suspicious of and judging her based on people she's associated with and having to live up or down their expectations. "But I really tried so hard" is a plea. An attempt to explain how she tried her best to overcome and conquer the prejudices and afflictions that plagued her family, and foreshadowing she failed. The "echo chorus" misled her to believe she would/could rise above the demons by reminding herself to "Hold on". But in the end she was either perceived as too harsh or "mean" in her approach to cut ties and break the cycle. Giving in wasn't any better because she was inevitably used and abused while her loved one was "in-between" addictions/lovers. Still being pushed to the back of the line. Either way, making a good case to cease communication. So now she's resided to love the "devil". (her own demons/addictions) And the irony is that's all she's ever learned from those that she loved. They cared more for their "devil" than her. The last stanza about "leaving the party" brings us into her present. How all of her suffering has led her to encompass the very behavior she's had to suffer. "Valium" her drug of choice takes away the desire, pain, and bitterness that's left in place of her heart. Her naivety in youth allowed her to play victim and hold her own judgements against her family. As time passed she realized she was just as culpable for repeating the patterns in adulthood. That Echo voice still lying to her. She is certain she's already let go.