Could also be a man, who falls deeply in addiction, after very close person death. He s calling a potential holy spirit, and had a feeling of revelation. Destroying himself, body and mind, would be a big sin against life. (Black lungs, flames "progressively but painfully " licked his mind).
He keeps doubting after apparently clear signs, because everything happened when he was not clear himself (couldnt get it right in the night).
Then would compare his proper disease, with Christian believers, who sold their soul to church to get easy consolation.
Himself, has convictions and never betrayed them, even if price is death (head on the spit ).
Could also be a man, who falls deeply in addiction, after very close person death. He s calling a potential holy spirit, and had a feeling of revelation. Destroying himself, body and mind, would be a big sin against life. (Black lungs, flames "progressively but painfully " licked his mind). He keeps doubting after apparently clear signs, because everything happened when he was not clear himself (couldnt get it right in the night). Then would compare his proper disease, with Christian believers, who sold their soul to church to get easy consolation. Himself, has convictions and never betrayed them, even if price is death (head on the spit ).