You're all on the wrong track. This is about a dude reproaching his friend for having sex with his girlfriend in HIS bed! He comes home, lies down on the pillow, and yucch! a used Trojan sticking to his hair (not "head"). Change the locks? What good, if his lady is going to let him in anyway? The rest is all a lament about friendship abused and the like. Or maybe it's just another example of the infectious disease that spreads from one songwriter to another: lyricus stupidus, commonly known as Yankovic's syndrome.
You're all on the wrong track. This is about a dude reproaching his friend for having sex with his girlfriend in HIS bed! He comes home, lies down on the pillow, and yucch! a used Trojan sticking to his hair (not "head"). Change the locks? What good, if his lady is going to let him in anyway? The rest is all a lament about friendship abused and the like. Or maybe it's just another example of the infectious disease that spreads from one songwriter to another: lyricus stupidus, commonly known as Yankovic's syndrome.