How to Disappear Completely

This sums up a pretty big period of my life for me. It started back when I was about ten and didn't know songs like this existed, and it hasn't fully stopped. Finding this was bittersweet in a way, I didn't feel alone, but it hit home pretty hard, I didn't really know what to make of it. There are still days in which I kind of pretend to be missing. Sometimes I just want to be somewhere, anywhere but here, to be anyone but me. So I kind of start drifting away, lose myself in a book, a song, a daydream. In painting or sad attempts at making music. Because I can't deal with things, so I escape. That is what the dreamy quality of this song makes me think about. But no matter how hard I try, it's not real, it's not enough. I still feel reality looming over me, And the song is dream-like, yes- but with a dark atmosphere, with a hint of fear, of desperately clinging to the fantasy because the real world is scary and unfair and everything you ever cherish at some point in your life dies. I bet most will huff and smirk, then roll their eyes and keep scrolling before reading more than a handful of words, but I still wanted to share this, not sure why.