How It Ends

This song has a very special meaning to me.

I had been secretly struggling with alcoholism, hiding it from my wife, friends and family. My family has a history of alcohol abuse problems but everyone believed I was successful and strong for not following in their footsteps.

One night, I was up late drinking alone while my wife believed I was watching our newborn daughter. This song came on the radio and it somehow struck a chord with me.

I "knew how this would end" as I had seen my family members destroy their lives with substance abuse. My wife and new daughter were depending on me but I was trying to fill the holes in my heart with alcohol.

The line "Now you've seen his face and you know that there's a place in the sun" was my infant daughter sleeping next to me showing me that "no longer shall you need, just ask and you'll receive beyond your wildest dreams"

I suddenly "knew it to be true" that I was an alcoholic and that "You know what you gotta do; they all depend on you and you already know how this will end" if I didn't stop drinking.

I got up, poured the vodka down the sink and told my wife about how much I drank and that I needed her help to stop. It's been 42 weeks since I've had a drink and this song was the spark that helped me start. I put the instrumental version on my daughter's lullaby playlist and when my resolve wavers I pick her up, turn on this song and sing it to her.

"For all that you've done For you and your children No longer shall you need You always wanted to believe Just ask and you'll receive Beyond your wildest dreams"