And it wears me out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out
If i could be who you wanted
If i could be who you wanted all the time, all the time
I played this song while I was contemplating suicide. I was (still) facing a lot of heartache: my asperger's is a significant obstacle to my social life, my dad physically and verbally abuses me, and the women i love are nice but are shallow, materialistic and don't love me back. By august 26, these things wore me out and i finally tried to kill myself because i felt like no one will ever love me enough to stop hurting me like my dad or love me for who i am. If i could be who she wanted me to be, i feel that women would finally accept me. this shallowness of our society just destroys good hearted people who may not be gorgeous but have a lot to offer. this song is easily one of my favorite songs but it is also one of the saddest songs for this reason.
It is unfortunate that such great deep songs always make some people think (more) of suicide. I think the fact that they impact someone so drastically clearly indicates the songs' brilliance despite the potentially negative side effect.
It is unfortunate that such great deep songs always make some people think (more) of suicide. I think the fact that they impact someone so drastically clearly indicates the songs' brilliance despite the potentially negative side effect.
@buggy1984
I was at that point too. But believe me you will find love man. We all do. But in the mean time do what makes you happy. (Unless that's skinning people and making them into lamps) ((if you watch American horror story you know what I mean))
You seem pretty awesome actually! The way you an push through all that you've been through. You're stronger than you realize.
@buggy1984
I was at that point too. But believe me you will find love man. We all do. But in the mean time do what makes you happy. (Unless that's skinning people and making them into lamps) ((if you watch American horror story you know what I mean))
You seem pretty awesome actually! The way you an push through all that you've been through. You're stronger than you realize.
@buggy1984 I can't be sure if you are still alive, who knows maybe you actually did it. I can say that when I heard this song a couple of months after I tried for my fifth and final time to kill myself, that if I had heard this song I might of actually gone through with it. All my attempts were very bad ones, but I just wanted to see if I could feel anything, or if there was still something inside me that made me human. I remember that when I used to cut myself that...
@buggy1984 I can't be sure if you are still alive, who knows maybe you actually did it. I can say that when I heard this song a couple of months after I tried for my fifth and final time to kill myself, that if I had heard this song I might of actually gone through with it. All my attempts were very bad ones, but I just wanted to see if I could feel anything, or if there was still something inside me that made me human. I remember that when I used to cut myself that I couldn't feel anything as the blade went through, it was just numb. Later, when I tried to do it by bath, I felt numb when the blade went through the first couple of times, but I realized that I just couldn't get myself to cut deep enough. I was too afraid to push the blade any further and about what would happen if I stayed alive after such a huge cut. After I talked myself out of it, I believe that would of been my third attempt, for the first time I could feel the pain. The pain had scared me shitless. I realized that if I was going to do it, it wouldn't be by cutting. I don't know what I was really talking about there but I don't know, just thought I would share my experience
@buggy1984
Hey.. I hope you're okay... There's hardly anyone who hasn't gone through such things, I myself had been in love with my best friend, who rejected me. If they dont reciprocate the love, sure we do feel like it's the end of the world and we do feel very hurt and depressed but we just gotta move on and not beat ourselves over it for too long cuz if that person doesn't understand how much we feel for them, then its just not worth it to waste so much of our feelings on them. Dont let ppl and circumstances bring...
@buggy1984
Hey.. I hope you're okay... There's hardly anyone who hasn't gone through such things, I myself had been in love with my best friend, who rejected me. If they dont reciprocate the love, sure we do feel like it's the end of the world and we do feel very hurt and depressed but we just gotta move on and not beat ourselves over it for too long cuz if that person doesn't understand how much we feel for them, then its just not worth it to waste so much of our feelings on them. Dont let ppl and circumstances bring u down. Its not ur fault that u have Asperger's. I hope u are okay and I hope u have moved on from that rough patch
@buggy1984 I, too, have Asperger's and gotta say the song resonated.
It was 1998 when I sort of just decided I was going to get into music, but I wasn't quite sure how because there weren't any good radio stations where I lived, and music streaming hadn't been invented yet. Then MTV, I think, put together a list of the 100 best music videos and I found it on the Internet. "Fake Plastic Trees" was on the list somewhere, and so that's how I discovered Radiohead. I liked it then, of course, because it's a beautifully sad song and I like...
@buggy1984 I, too, have Asperger's and gotta say the song resonated.
It was 1998 when I sort of just decided I was going to get into music, but I wasn't quite sure how because there weren't any good radio stations where I lived, and music streaming hadn't been invented yet. Then MTV, I think, put together a list of the 100 best music videos and I found it on the Internet. "Fake Plastic Trees" was on the list somewhere, and so that's how I discovered Radiohead. I liked it then, of course, because it's a beautifully sad song and I like sad things. I must admit, that the lyrics didn't mean that much to me at the time--I was looking for unrequited love stuff. I also didn't yet know I had Asperger's; I just knew I had a crush and couldn't talk to her because there's no way she'd like me. "Creep" was a lot better in that regard, obviously.
Fast forward to this year: I'm trying to get good at singing while playing the guitar. Better said, I'm enjoying singing while playing, so hopefully I can get good at it too. I've been looking up songs I like and their lyrics, and essentially rediscovered this one.
I understood the song much better this time. I know everybody masks to some extent, but for Aspies, it's exhausting. There's so many social customs that are pointless and artificial, like watering a fake plant. I have to spend long periods alone to "recharge." It's virtually impossible to maintain long term without getting Autistic burnout.
And then this verse, along with the way Thom sings it, sent chills down my spine:
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run
Because of a lifetime of suppression, which by now is ingrained, I have had the feeling sometimes that if I could completely give up on trying to be or appear normal, I might be able to release my true self, and it would be brighter than the sun. I don't know that it would. I don't even know what that self would look like. I don't know that I'll ever be able to overpower anxiety and dig it out. But I can't help the feeling...
@buggy1984 Music is so very powerful. I hear you. Please just know you are worth being here. What your father “thinks of you” should not define you.I will tell you what made me feel better… I think to myself, did my Mom make big mistakes with verbal/physical crap, yes; however, they know their mistakes. They treated us like this because of the crap that happened to them. Generational trauma is very real and it is a vicious cycle. This is their first time at life too. Please don’t think I am making excuses, just a different perspective. I have chosen...
@buggy1984 Music is so very powerful. I hear you. Please just know you are worth being here. What your father “thinks of you” should not define you.I will tell you what made me feel better… I think to myself, did my Mom make big mistakes with verbal/physical crap, yes; however, they know their mistakes. They treated us like this because of the crap that happened to them. Generational trauma is very real and it is a vicious cycle. This is their first time at life too. Please don’t think I am making excuses, just a different perspective. I have chosen to break the cycle. Know this world is better with you in it. Unfortunately, there are a lot of superficial materialistic women and men out there…. Work on yourself and find your worth first before trying to find a partner. Once you do, ALWAYS know people will show you who they are… believe them and act the very first time no matter what. I KNOW there is a woman out there that will love love love you. Buggy1984, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go to the ends of the earth to heal. YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!! (((((HUGS))))))
And it wears me out, it wears me out It wears me out, it wears me out
If i could be who you wanted If i could be who you wanted all the time, all the time
I played this song while I was contemplating suicide. I was (still) facing a lot of heartache: my asperger's is a significant obstacle to my social life, my dad physically and verbally abuses me, and the women i love are nice but are shallow, materialistic and don't love me back. By august 26, these things wore me out and i finally tried to kill myself because i felt like no one will ever love me enough to stop hurting me like my dad or love me for who i am. If i could be who she wanted me to be, i feel that women would finally accept me. this shallowness of our society just destroys good hearted people who may not be gorgeous but have a lot to offer. this song is easily one of my favorite songs but it is also one of the saddest songs for this reason.
It is unfortunate that such great deep songs always make some people think (more) of suicide. I think the fact that they impact someone so drastically clearly indicates the songs' brilliance despite the potentially negative side effect.
It is unfortunate that such great deep songs always make some people think (more) of suicide. I think the fact that they impact someone so drastically clearly indicates the songs' brilliance despite the potentially negative side effect.
@buggy1984 I was at that point too. But believe me you will find love man. We all do. But in the mean time do what makes you happy. (Unless that's skinning people and making them into lamps) ((if you watch American horror story you know what I mean)) You seem pretty awesome actually! The way you an push through all that you've been through. You're stronger than you realize.
@buggy1984 I was at that point too. But believe me you will find love man. We all do. But in the mean time do what makes you happy. (Unless that's skinning people and making them into lamps) ((if you watch American horror story you know what I mean)) You seem pretty awesome actually! The way you an push through all that you've been through. You're stronger than you realize.
@buggy1984 I can't be sure if you are still alive, who knows maybe you actually did it. I can say that when I heard this song a couple of months after I tried for my fifth and final time to kill myself, that if I had heard this song I might of actually gone through with it. All my attempts were very bad ones, but I just wanted to see if I could feel anything, or if there was still something inside me that made me human. I remember that when I used to cut myself that...
@buggy1984 I can't be sure if you are still alive, who knows maybe you actually did it. I can say that when I heard this song a couple of months after I tried for my fifth and final time to kill myself, that if I had heard this song I might of actually gone through with it. All my attempts were very bad ones, but I just wanted to see if I could feel anything, or if there was still something inside me that made me human. I remember that when I used to cut myself that I couldn't feel anything as the blade went through, it was just numb. Later, when I tried to do it by bath, I felt numb when the blade went through the first couple of times, but I realized that I just couldn't get myself to cut deep enough. I was too afraid to push the blade any further and about what would happen if I stayed alive after such a huge cut. After I talked myself out of it, I believe that would of been my third attempt, for the first time I could feel the pain. The pain had scared me shitless. I realized that if I was going to do it, it wouldn't be by cutting. I don't know what I was really talking about there but I don't know, just thought I would share my experience
@buggy1984 Hey.. I hope you're okay... There's hardly anyone who hasn't gone through such things, I myself had been in love with my best friend, who rejected me. If they dont reciprocate the love, sure we do feel like it's the end of the world and we do feel very hurt and depressed but we just gotta move on and not beat ourselves over it for too long cuz if that person doesn't understand how much we feel for them, then its just not worth it to waste so much of our feelings on them. Dont let ppl and circumstances bring...
@buggy1984 Hey.. I hope you're okay... There's hardly anyone who hasn't gone through such things, I myself had been in love with my best friend, who rejected me. If they dont reciprocate the love, sure we do feel like it's the end of the world and we do feel very hurt and depressed but we just gotta move on and not beat ourselves over it for too long cuz if that person doesn't understand how much we feel for them, then its just not worth it to waste so much of our feelings on them. Dont let ppl and circumstances bring u down. Its not ur fault that u have Asperger's. I hope u are okay and I hope u have moved on from that rough patch
@buggy1984 I, too, have Asperger's and gotta say the song resonated. It was 1998 when I sort of just decided I was going to get into music, but I wasn't quite sure how because there weren't any good radio stations where I lived, and music streaming hadn't been invented yet. Then MTV, I think, put together a list of the 100 best music videos and I found it on the Internet. "Fake Plastic Trees" was on the list somewhere, and so that's how I discovered Radiohead. I liked it then, of course, because it's a beautifully sad song and I like...
@buggy1984 I, too, have Asperger's and gotta say the song resonated. It was 1998 when I sort of just decided I was going to get into music, but I wasn't quite sure how because there weren't any good radio stations where I lived, and music streaming hadn't been invented yet. Then MTV, I think, put together a list of the 100 best music videos and I found it on the Internet. "Fake Plastic Trees" was on the list somewhere, and so that's how I discovered Radiohead. I liked it then, of course, because it's a beautifully sad song and I like sad things. I must admit, that the lyrics didn't mean that much to me at the time--I was looking for unrequited love stuff. I also didn't yet know I had Asperger's; I just knew I had a crush and couldn't talk to her because there's no way she'd like me. "Creep" was a lot better in that regard, obviously. Fast forward to this year: I'm trying to get good at singing while playing the guitar. Better said, I'm enjoying singing while playing, so hopefully I can get good at it too. I've been looking up songs I like and their lyrics, and essentially rediscovered this one. I understood the song much better this time. I know everybody masks to some extent, but for Aspies, it's exhausting. There's so many social customs that are pointless and artificial, like watering a fake plant. I have to spend long periods alone to "recharge." It's virtually impossible to maintain long term without getting Autistic burnout. And then this verse, along with the way Thom sings it, sent chills down my spine:
But I can't help the feeling I could blow through the ceiling If I just turn and run
Because of a lifetime of suppression, which by now is ingrained, I have had the feeling sometimes that if I could completely give up on trying to be or appear normal, I might be able to release my true self, and it would be brighter than the sun. I don't know that it would. I don't even know what that self would look like. I don't know that I'll ever be able to overpower anxiety and dig it out. But I can't help the feeling...
@buggy1984 Music is so very powerful. I hear you. Please just know you are worth being here. What your father “thinks of you” should not define you.I will tell you what made me feel better… I think to myself, did my Mom make big mistakes with verbal/physical crap, yes; however, they know their mistakes. They treated us like this because of the crap that happened to them. Generational trauma is very real and it is a vicious cycle. This is their first time at life too. Please don’t think I am making excuses, just a different perspective. I have chosen...
@buggy1984 Music is so very powerful. I hear you. Please just know you are worth being here. What your father “thinks of you” should not define you.I will tell you what made me feel better… I think to myself, did my Mom make big mistakes with verbal/physical crap, yes; however, they know their mistakes. They treated us like this because of the crap that happened to them. Generational trauma is very real and it is a vicious cycle. This is their first time at life too. Please don’t think I am making excuses, just a different perspective. I have chosen to break the cycle. Know this world is better with you in it. Unfortunately, there are a lot of superficial materialistic women and men out there…. Work on yourself and find your worth first before trying to find a partner. Once you do, ALWAYS know people will show you who they are… believe them and act the very first time no matter what. I KNOW there is a woman out there that will love love love you. Buggy1984, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go to the ends of the earth to heal. YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!! (((((HUGS))))))