I'm amused by the argument going on in the comments as to whether "buried my first victim" refers to a literal murder or a metaphor about a relationship gone sour. Why not allow for both meanings, and perhaps even more? Also, people are overly identifying the "I" in the song with Mark himself. You're not allowing for "I" to be a more subtle context created in the song. Why can't "I" be you, dear listener, who is listening to these gorgeous lyrics and have them repeat in your head?
This is art, people.
As others have noted, there's a context to the album, and a general obsession with the lives of boxers: Cassius Clay and Sonny Liston here, and many others in other songs on this album (Duk Koo Kim, Slavador Sanchez, Pancho Villa) and in other Kozelek songs. It's hard not to see parallels between boxing matches and cotentious romantic relationships, and Mark does seem equally obsessed with both.
"Buried my first victim" speaks to me of winning a boxing match, and the kind of overly violent language sometimes used in boxing. I can envision the 19-year-old protagonist reading his girlfriend's private letters, finding hurtful things, and breaking up with her, thus "winning" in the sad, sad game of relationships, pride and manliness. But did he really win? He seems to truly regret and wonder about alternate endings. Did he act too pridefully? If it sounds like a literal murder to you, so bet it. The end result is that he has erased her, as a person, from the world as he knows it.
If you enjoy this and other Mark Kozelek songs, I strongly recommend you buy the (expensive, out-of-print) book "Nights of Passed Over" in which he talks frankly about the pain of his past relationships, and also his love of boxing. The album "Among the Leaves" is also more frankly (to the point of discomfort) autobiographical than any of his previous albums.
I'm amused by the argument going on in the comments as to whether "buried my first victim" refers to a literal murder or a metaphor about a relationship gone sour. Why not allow for both meanings, and perhaps even more? Also, people are overly identifying the "I" in the song with Mark himself. You're not allowing for "I" to be a more subtle context created in the song. Why can't "I" be you, dear listener, who is listening to these gorgeous lyrics and have them repeat in your head?
This is art, people.
As others have noted, there's a context to the album, and a general obsession with the lives of boxers: Cassius Clay and Sonny Liston here, and many others in other songs on this album (Duk Koo Kim, Slavador Sanchez, Pancho Villa) and in other Kozelek songs. It's hard not to see parallels between boxing matches and cotentious romantic relationships, and Mark does seem equally obsessed with both.
"Buried my first victim" speaks to me of winning a boxing match, and the kind of overly violent language sometimes used in boxing. I can envision the 19-year-old protagonist reading his girlfriend's private letters, finding hurtful things, and breaking up with her, thus "winning" in the sad, sad game of relationships, pride and manliness. But did he really win? He seems to truly regret and wonder about alternate endings. Did he act too pridefully? If it sounds like a literal murder to you, so bet it. The end result is that he has erased her, as a person, from the world as he knows it.
If you enjoy this and other Mark Kozelek songs, I strongly recommend you buy the (expensive, out-of-print) book "Nights of Passed Over" in which he talks frankly about the pain of his past relationships, and also his love of boxing. The album "Among the Leaves" is also more frankly (to the point of discomfort) autobiographical than any of his previous albums.