I was an innocent child who believed he had all the answers.
I was superficial, searching for all the wrong things that I thought would bring happiness.
Everyone wanted a piece of what I believed was really me.
All they really wanted was to benefit from the person I blindly thought myself to be.
When I realized my own delusion of myself, and who I am,
I began to change into the person I truly am, the person I want to be, the person I've always been, but couldn't see through the eyes of my own unawareness.
Confused, I sought a way to make sense of my confusion, my pain.
Desperately, I clung to anything to help confirm who I am. I wanted all this pain to be just in my mind, not real.
Am I the me I think I am?
I don't have that internal strength I need. I'm jealous of blissful ignorance. It is better to not have to deal with my demons. And this is so hard to come to terms with - who I thought I was versus who I really am.
Did I lose myself?
I can lose myself so easily.
All it takes is a crutch to ease this pain.
This pain is endless, my safety exists only when I'm alone in my safe place.
I enable my self-pity.
But can't ignore it forever. I know that I can't forever hide, but the temptation is so inviting to forget the pain away.
The pain always creeps back in.
It ruins everything I know isn't, but want to believe, is true.
I try to forget, so many ways, any way to make me believe
I am masking my hurt away, using a pleasant veil so maybe they will believe. Then maybe I can, too.
Am I the me I think I am?
I don't have the strength to fight it anymore. I'm aware, but the awareness is so painful.
But maybe I can just lose myself, one more temporarily gratifying time.
All it takes is a crutch to ease this pain.
*Admittedly, I haven't yet read all the comments. That said, fair or not since I didn't read all the comments, this is how I "get" this song.
i created an account here after reading your interpretation so that i may tell you that what you wrote was one of the most beautiful things I've read in a very long time. Thank you for sharing that!
i created an account here after reading your interpretation so that i may tell you that what you wrote was one of the most beautiful things I've read in a very long time. Thank you for sharing that!
I agree that you may actually be the writer. Your interpretation is just as beautiful as the song itself. I'd love to see your words in a book someday.
I agree that you may actually be the writer. Your interpretation is just as beautiful as the song itself. I'd love to see your words in a book someday.
I have no idea how to explain this so I'm just going to ramble on... bear with me.. I heard this song and fell in love with it and didn't understand why or what the song means, so I Googled it and stumbled across your interpretation and it may sound odd but I was just compelled to create an account here and reply to your interpretation and let you know that I didn't know it until I read what you wrote but your interpretation is me.. I'm obviously not at the stage to have realised that myself that's why when...
I have no idea how to explain this so I'm just going to ramble on... bear with me.. I heard this song and fell in love with it and didn't understand why or what the song means, so I Googled it and stumbled across your interpretation and it may sound odd but I was just compelled to create an account here and reply to your interpretation and let you know that I didn't know it until I read what you wrote but your interpretation is me.. I'm obviously not at the stage to have realised that myself that's why when I read it, it brought tears to my eyes.. but I just feel it.. that what you've shared here is truth, painful as it is.. thank you. I am definitely going to be printing this out and keeping it as a reminder (I will NOT be distributing what you've written).. I feel I need the reminder because I'd like to be able to one day read it - accept it - without feeling as though I'm falling with nothing to grab hold of. I do hope you (the author of this interpretation) find my reply.. and are copacetic with me replacing my "crutches" with your words. Once again, thank you. I keep trying to post my comment but each time it doesn't seem to work.. so if you get this comment 10 times.. my apologies!
@eeewalkable This is without a doubt the most beautiful translation of this song. Listening to the song whilst I read your interpretation, I can feel the words you've put on paper. Thank you, a very touching and beautifully penned post.
@eeewalkable This is without a doubt the most beautiful translation of this song. Listening to the song whilst I read your interpretation, I can feel the words you've put on paper. Thank you, a very touching and beautifully penned post.
I thought this was so very beautiful. I myself don't know who I am sometimes, as everyone loses themselves. To me this almost reads like a poem. Thank you for writing this.
I thought this was so very beautiful. I myself don't know who I am sometimes, as everyone loses themselves. To me this almost reads like a poem. Thank you for writing this.
@eeewalkable
Thank you for sharing this.
I've visited this site for years, however not until reading your interpretation have I felt the urge to create an account and comment on a post.
@eeewalkable
Thank you for sharing this.
I've visited this site for years, however not until reading your interpretation have I felt the urge to create an account and comment on a post.
What you've written is beautiful, hauntingly so. I wish I could read more from you.
What you've written is beautiful, hauntingly so. I wish I could read more from you.
My take*
I was an innocent child who believed he had all the answers. I was superficial, searching for all the wrong things that I thought would bring happiness. Everyone wanted a piece of what I believed was really me. All they really wanted was to benefit from the person I blindly thought myself to be.
When I realized my own delusion of myself, and who I am, I began to change into the person I truly am, the person I want to be, the person I've always been, but couldn't see through the eyes of my own unawareness. Confused, I sought a way to make sense of my confusion, my pain. Desperately, I clung to anything to help confirm who I am. I wanted all this pain to be just in my mind, not real.
Am I the me I think I am? I don't have that internal strength I need. I'm jealous of blissful ignorance. It is better to not have to deal with my demons. And this is so hard to come to terms with - who I thought I was versus who I really am. Did I lose myself? I can lose myself so easily. All it takes is a crutch to ease this pain.
This pain is endless, my safety exists only when I'm alone in my safe place. I enable my self-pity. But can't ignore it forever. I know that I can't forever hide, but the temptation is so inviting to forget the pain away. The pain always creeps back in. It ruins everything I know isn't, but want to believe, is true. I try to forget, so many ways, any way to make me believe I am masking my hurt away, using a pleasant veil so maybe they will believe. Then maybe I can, too.
Am I the me I think I am? I don't have the strength to fight it anymore. I'm aware, but the awareness is so painful. But maybe I can just lose myself, one more temporarily gratifying time. All it takes is a crutch to ease this pain.
*Admittedly, I haven't yet read all the comments. That said, fair or not since I didn't read all the comments, this is how I "get" this song.
i created an account here after reading your interpretation so that i may tell you that what you wrote was one of the most beautiful things I've read in a very long time. Thank you for sharing that!
i created an account here after reading your interpretation so that i may tell you that what you wrote was one of the most beautiful things I've read in a very long time. Thank you for sharing that!
that brought tears to my eyes and gave an entirely new meaning to a song that I could barely distinguish the lyrics of. thank you
that brought tears to my eyes and gave an entirely new meaning to a song that I could barely distinguish the lyrics of. thank you
that brought tears to my eyes and gave an entirely new meaning to a song that I could barely distinguish the lyrics of. thank you
that brought tears to my eyes and gave an entirely new meaning to a song that I could barely distinguish the lyrics of. thank you
Just a guess, did you write this song?
Just a guess, did you write this song?
No wonder I've always liked the song so much. Thank you for that wonderful interpretation. Insanely relatable.
No wonder I've always liked the song so much. Thank you for that wonderful interpretation. Insanely relatable.
Amazing! :)
Amazing! :)
I agree that you may actually be the writer. Your interpretation is just as beautiful as the song itself. I'd love to see your words in a book someday.
I agree that you may actually be the writer. Your interpretation is just as beautiful as the song itself. I'd love to see your words in a book someday.
I have no idea how to explain this so I'm just going to ramble on... bear with me.. I heard this song and fell in love with it and didn't understand why or what the song means, so I Googled it and stumbled across your interpretation and it may sound odd but I was just compelled to create an account here and reply to your interpretation and let you know that I didn't know it until I read what you wrote but your interpretation is me.. I'm obviously not at the stage to have realised that myself that's why when...
I have no idea how to explain this so I'm just going to ramble on... bear with me.. I heard this song and fell in love with it and didn't understand why or what the song means, so I Googled it and stumbled across your interpretation and it may sound odd but I was just compelled to create an account here and reply to your interpretation and let you know that I didn't know it until I read what you wrote but your interpretation is me.. I'm obviously not at the stage to have realised that myself that's why when I read it, it brought tears to my eyes.. but I just feel it.. that what you've shared here is truth, painful as it is.. thank you. I am definitely going to be printing this out and keeping it as a reminder (I will NOT be distributing what you've written).. I feel I need the reminder because I'd like to be able to one day read it - accept it - without feeling as though I'm falling with nothing to grab hold of. I do hope you (the author of this interpretation) find my reply.. and are copacetic with me replacing my "crutches" with your words. Once again, thank you. I keep trying to post my comment but each time it doesn't seem to work.. so if you get this comment 10 times.. my apologies!
@eeewalkable This is without a doubt the most beautiful translation of this song. Listening to the song whilst I read your interpretation, I can feel the words you've put on paper. Thank you, a very touching and beautifully penned post.
@eeewalkable This is without a doubt the most beautiful translation of this song. Listening to the song whilst I read your interpretation, I can feel the words you've put on paper. Thank you, a very touching and beautifully penned post.
I thought this was so very beautiful. I myself don't know who I am sometimes, as everyone loses themselves. To me this almost reads like a poem. Thank you for writing this.
I thought this was so very beautiful. I myself don't know who I am sometimes, as everyone loses themselves. To me this almost reads like a poem. Thank you for writing this.
i think i love you @eeewalkable
i think i love you @eeewalkable
@eeewalkable Thank you for sharing this. I've visited this site for years, however not until reading your interpretation have I felt the urge to create an account and comment on a post.
@eeewalkable Thank you for sharing this. I've visited this site for years, however not until reading your interpretation have I felt the urge to create an account and comment on a post.
What you've written is beautiful, hauntingly so. I wish I could read more from you.
What you've written is beautiful, hauntingly so. I wish I could read more from you.