OK, this may sound crazy to any other outsider, but doesn't this song remind anyone of eating disorders? As an eating disordered person, I can fully relate to this song.
"I tried to be perfect" very obvious.
"But nothing was worth it," it is about coming to your senses and realizing it is not worth losing your health, your friends, people's trust and more.
"I don't believe it makes me real." the unrealistic goals you force yourself to reach.
"I thought it'd be easy,
But no one believes me,
I meant all the things I said." you think you can reach out to people and ask for help, but eating disorders are seen as simply extreme dieting or/and attention seeking, so you are ignored and judged, and left alone once again.
"If you believe it's in my soul,
I'd say all the words that I know,
Just to see if it would show,
That I'm trying to let you know,
That I'm better off on my own." This whole verse explains the disordered's dilemma:once you find someone who believes you and will try to help you, you cannot part from the eating disorder, so you have to push them away. You lie and cheat and do things you don't expect from yourself and eventually are left alone, 'as you wanted'
"This place is so empty,
My thoughts are so tempting," perfect explanation of how when you are alone, you sink even deeper in your despair and disordered thoughts become too prominent.
"I don't know how it got so bad." eating disorders start simple and innocent, and spiral out of control:they consume you before you even figure out what's wrong with you.
"Sometimes it's so crazy,
That nothing can save me," it is about the frustration that comes from not being able to recover. Nothing's working, you're still sick, it's killing you.
"But it's the only thing that I have." eating disorders have the tendency to arise as a replacement of something missing:lack of care and love, lack of control you have over your life, etc...
I tried to be perfect,
It just wasn't worth it,
"Nothing could ever be so wrong." it is very unnatural to your body to starve it, or force it's food back up, or force more food into it than it can handle, and more. It is unnatural to your mind, too. It's just wrong, abusing one of the main things you need to stay alive.
"It's hard to believe me," explains how we DO know it's hard to understand, believe that this is an actual problem:one that can kill you. But it is.
"It never gets easy,
I guess I knew that all along." complete, full recovery from eating disorders are rare, (recovery is possible, but not completely) and you know this, you know that something that is taking over your life so harsh will never completely go away.
This song is so close to my heart. It sums up everything so perfectly. And it makes me feel a bit less alone.
OK, this may sound crazy to any other outsider, but doesn't this song remind anyone of eating disorders? As an eating disordered person, I can fully relate to this song. "I tried to be perfect" very obvious. "But nothing was worth it," it is about coming to your senses and realizing it is not worth losing your health, your friends, people's trust and more. "I don't believe it makes me real." the unrealistic goals you force yourself to reach. "I thought it'd be easy, But no one believes me, I meant all the things I said." you think you can reach out to people and ask for help, but eating disorders are seen as simply extreme dieting or/and attention seeking, so you are ignored and judged, and left alone once again.
"If you believe it's in my soul, I'd say all the words that I know, Just to see if it would show, That I'm trying to let you know, That I'm better off on my own." This whole verse explains the disordered's dilemma:once you find someone who believes you and will try to help you, you cannot part from the eating disorder, so you have to push them away. You lie and cheat and do things you don't expect from yourself and eventually are left alone, 'as you wanted'
"This place is so empty, My thoughts are so tempting," perfect explanation of how when you are alone, you sink even deeper in your despair and disordered thoughts become too prominent. "I don't know how it got so bad." eating disorders start simple and innocent, and spiral out of control:they consume you before you even figure out what's wrong with you. "Sometimes it's so crazy, That nothing can save me," it is about the frustration that comes from not being able to recover. Nothing's working, you're still sick, it's killing you. "But it's the only thing that I have." eating disorders have the tendency to arise as a replacement of something missing:lack of care and love, lack of control you have over your life, etc...
I tried to be perfect, It just wasn't worth it, "Nothing could ever be so wrong." it is very unnatural to your body to starve it, or force it's food back up, or force more food into it than it can handle, and more. It is unnatural to your mind, too. It's just wrong, abusing one of the main things you need to stay alive. "It's hard to believe me," explains how we DO know it's hard to understand, believe that this is an actual problem:one that can kill you. But it is. "It never gets easy, I guess I knew that all along." complete, full recovery from eating disorders are rare, (recovery is possible, but not completely) and you know this, you know that something that is taking over your life so harsh will never completely go away.
This song is so close to my heart. It sums up everything so perfectly. And it makes me feel a bit less alone.