As someone with a social anxiety disorder I can relate to this song way too much.
A fear that never goes away. You wake up with it, you get into bed with it. You're afraid of things that are weeks in the future and of things that are tomorrow almost equally.
You feel inferior to everyone, but you don't look up to them either because you just aren't like them. You always try to fit into the world despite all these problems, but everything weakens you so much that you don't have the energy you need to be someone anyone can be proud of. However, other people don't understand that, not even in your family. You have to look for other reasons to explain your strange behavior, although that disconnects you even more from everyone.
The only moments to get some energy back and that you actually enjoy are the ones in which you are alone. It's fun, it's relaxing, it's like medicine. However, people can't understand that either and will criticize you for it. You become too boring for everyone. You have to argue why you don't want to travel around the world and make parties 24/7.
And that's the contradiction that follows you your whole life. You enjoy those things the most that alienate you, which in return increase the fears even further so that you want to spend even more time alone. But you can't help but cherish those lonely hours without any worries.
As someone with a social anxiety disorder I can relate to this song way too much. A fear that never goes away. You wake up with it, you get into bed with it. You're afraid of things that are weeks in the future and of things that are tomorrow almost equally. You feel inferior to everyone, but you don't look up to them either because you just aren't like them. You always try to fit into the world despite all these problems, but everything weakens you so much that you don't have the energy you need to be someone anyone can be proud of. However, other people don't understand that, not even in your family. You have to look for other reasons to explain your strange behavior, although that disconnects you even more from everyone. The only moments to get some energy back and that you actually enjoy are the ones in which you are alone. It's fun, it's relaxing, it's like medicine. However, people can't understand that either and will criticize you for it. You become too boring for everyone. You have to argue why you don't want to travel around the world and make parties 24/7.
And that's the contradiction that follows you your whole life. You enjoy those things the most that alienate you, which in return increase the fears even further so that you want to spend even more time alone. But you can't help but cherish those lonely hours without any worries.
I can relate. :)
I can relate. :)