i love this song, literally changed my life. a close friend showed it to me a week before my wedding. i was 22 and a perfect version of a "cath" who just settled. it was so true and brought up so much emotion when i actually heard the song, looked up the lyrics and saw the comments i cried and knew that i could not go through with the wedding. I cancelled it 6 days before, some may say that i am horrible for doing that but, it was that or be unhappy and with a man who i truly wasnt in love like i should of been, i was just goin thru the motions. it took a lot of courage to do it believe me, cancelling a wedding with 250 guests only a week before. plus actually telling the guy was the hardest part, i didnt do it on purpose or just to hurt him. now a year later that guy is already married and has a kid on the way. Im am so glad i did not go thru with it. thanks to this song and that special friend who shared it with me. so girls if you are engaged to and have doubts, truly think them through because marriage is sooo serious and you dont wanna end up wondering or miserable.
I definitely think you made the right decision and don't think you're horrible at all for doing it. You saved that guy from being in a relationship with someone who didn't truly love him. I know I personally would want anyone to settle for me. I was in similar situation with my boyfriend of 4 years and he treated me so well and my parents loved him. So I stayed for a lot longer than I should have cause I was comfortable and didn't think that anyone would love me as much as he did. Eventually realized how selfish I...
I definitely think you made the right decision and don't think you're horrible at all for doing it. You saved that guy from being in a relationship with someone who didn't truly love him. I know I personally would want anyone to settle for me. I was in similar situation with my boyfriend of 4 years and he treated me so well and my parents loved him. So I stayed for a lot longer than I should have cause I was comfortable and didn't think that anyone would love me as much as he did. Eventually realized how selfish I was being and that he deserved someone that would love him as much as he love me. Hardest thing I've ever done but so glad I did it.
Like Madalyn, I wish I'd heard this song before my "I do's." I was mid-twenties and with a very kind guy, but was not "in love" with him (my heart was still totally in love with someone from my past). But, we'd dated, and then we moved in together, and then next step was marriage? Right?? I remember having panic attacks before the wedding and worrying about it and people saying "it's just cold feet, you'll be fine." Well...1st year = "it's first year, give it sometime" 2nd year "well, it's still new, give it more time"...then after 6yrs of...
Like Madalyn, I wish I'd heard this song before my "I do's." I was mid-twenties and with a very kind guy, but was not "in love" with him (my heart was still totally in love with someone from my past). But, we'd dated, and then we moved in together, and then next step was marriage? Right?? I remember having panic attacks before the wedding and worrying about it and people saying "it's just cold feet, you'll be fine." Well...1st year = "it's first year, give it sometime" 2nd year "well, it's still new, give it more time"...then after 6yrs of marriage we finally just divorced. I hate to say it this way, because I do not think ill of my ex at all, but I shouldn't have gone through with it. I wish someone would have really sat down with me and listened and said it was ok if I had doubts and to really think about it. Or that I woulda have the courage to stop it. But they didn't. And I didn't. My ex is remarried with a kid, so he's all good. We shall see what the future will hold for me. But, anyone reading this - PLEASE...if you are questioning marriage at all, talk about it...with your mom/dad, best friend, or your partner. It's NOT going to be easier to just let it go and walk down the aisle. It's hard, but it would always be better to NOT enter into the marriage if you have doubts. Seriously.
All that said, I've read that this song is based on the book Wuthering Heights and Catherine's getting married to other guy when really loved Healthcliff ;)
@musicismylife13 I made this account five years after your post just so I could respond. I'm not sure if you will see this, but I want you to know that you are not a bad person. I married a man who had me believing that life was going to be beautiful with him. I was twenty years old.
@musicismylife13 I made this account five years after your post just so I could respond. I'm not sure if you will see this, but I want you to know that you are not a bad person. I married a man who had me believing that life was going to be beautiful with him. I was twenty years old.
I stayed with him for six years. Through all the cheating and through him sexually and emotionally abusing me. He fooled me into believing a fairy tale then broke me down until I lost the will to fight. He was an expert manipulator and your typical narcissist.
I left last spring, and I have never been happier. Not since I was a kid or teenager, anyway.
I listened to this song a lot over the course of those six years, and I'd always tear up at the second verse. Wondering who I may have closed the door on. Wondering how much more I could take.
I came here because a local station was playing it today and it was the first time I'd heard it since I left. It was also the first time I heard it and didn't feel like a boulder had been dropped on my chest.
I am proud of you for doing what you knew was right. I wish I had been as brave. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change anything...I am where I am now because of the hell I went through, and the happiness I carry with me today makes all of that feel worth it. However, I admire your courage and I am grateful you did what was right for you <3
i love this song, literally changed my life. a close friend showed it to me a week before my wedding. i was 22 and a perfect version of a "cath" who just settled. it was so true and brought up so much emotion when i actually heard the song, looked up the lyrics and saw the comments i cried and knew that i could not go through with the wedding. I cancelled it 6 days before, some may say that i am horrible for doing that but, it was that or be unhappy and with a man who i truly wasnt in love like i should of been, i was just goin thru the motions. it took a lot of courage to do it believe me, cancelling a wedding with 250 guests only a week before. plus actually telling the guy was the hardest part, i didnt do it on purpose or just to hurt him. now a year later that guy is already married and has a kid on the way. Im am so glad i did not go thru with it. thanks to this song and that special friend who shared it with me. so girls if you are engaged to and have doubts, truly think them through because marriage is sooo serious and you dont wanna end up wondering or miserable.
I definitely think you made the right decision and don't think you're horrible at all for doing it. You saved that guy from being in a relationship with someone who didn't truly love him. I know I personally would want anyone to settle for me. I was in similar situation with my boyfriend of 4 years and he treated me so well and my parents loved him. So I stayed for a lot longer than I should have cause I was comfortable and didn't think that anyone would love me as much as he did. Eventually realized how selfish I...
I definitely think you made the right decision and don't think you're horrible at all for doing it. You saved that guy from being in a relationship with someone who didn't truly love him. I know I personally would want anyone to settle for me. I was in similar situation with my boyfriend of 4 years and he treated me so well and my parents loved him. So I stayed for a lot longer than I should have cause I was comfortable and didn't think that anyone would love me as much as he did. Eventually realized how selfish I was being and that he deserved someone that would love him as much as he love me. Hardest thing I've ever done but so glad I did it.
Glad it worked out for you :) I wish I could have listened to this song back in '87. I would have done the same.
Glad it worked out for you :) I wish I could have listened to this song back in '87. I would have done the same.
Like Madalyn, I wish I'd heard this song before my "I do's." I was mid-twenties and with a very kind guy, but was not "in love" with him (my heart was still totally in love with someone from my past). But, we'd dated, and then we moved in together, and then next step was marriage? Right?? I remember having panic attacks before the wedding and worrying about it and people saying "it's just cold feet, you'll be fine." Well...1st year = "it's first year, give it sometime" 2nd year "well, it's still new, give it more time"...then after 6yrs of...
Like Madalyn, I wish I'd heard this song before my "I do's." I was mid-twenties and with a very kind guy, but was not "in love" with him (my heart was still totally in love with someone from my past). But, we'd dated, and then we moved in together, and then next step was marriage? Right?? I remember having panic attacks before the wedding and worrying about it and people saying "it's just cold feet, you'll be fine." Well...1st year = "it's first year, give it sometime" 2nd year "well, it's still new, give it more time"...then after 6yrs of marriage we finally just divorced. I hate to say it this way, because I do not think ill of my ex at all, but I shouldn't have gone through with it. I wish someone would have really sat down with me and listened and said it was ok if I had doubts and to really think about it. Or that I woulda have the courage to stop it. But they didn't. And I didn't. My ex is remarried with a kid, so he's all good. We shall see what the future will hold for me. But, anyone reading this - PLEASE...if you are questioning marriage at all, talk about it...with your mom/dad, best friend, or your partner. It's NOT going to be easier to just let it go and walk down the aisle. It's hard, but it would always be better to NOT enter into the marriage if you have doubts. Seriously.
All that said, I've read that this song is based on the book Wuthering Heights and Catherine's getting married to other guy when really loved Healthcliff ;)
@musicismylife13 I made this account five years after your post just so I could respond. I'm not sure if you will see this, but I want you to know that you are not a bad person. I married a man who had me believing that life was going to be beautiful with him. I was twenty years old.
@musicismylife13 I made this account five years after your post just so I could respond. I'm not sure if you will see this, but I want you to know that you are not a bad person. I married a man who had me believing that life was going to be beautiful with him. I was twenty years old.
I stayed with him for six years. Through all the cheating and through him sexually and emotionally abusing me. He fooled me into believing a fairy tale then broke me down until I lost the will to fight. He was an expert manipulator and your typical narcissist.
I left last spring, and I have never been happier. Not since I was a kid or teenager, anyway.
I listened to this song a lot over the course of those six years, and I'd always tear up at the second verse. Wondering who I may have closed the door on. Wondering how much more I could take.
I came here because a local station was playing it today and it was the first time I'd heard it since I left. It was also the first time I heard it and didn't feel like a boulder had been dropped on my chest.
I am proud of you for doing what you knew was right. I wish I had been as brave. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change anything...I am where I am now because of the hell I went through, and the happiness I carry with me today makes all of that feel worth it. However, I admire your courage and I am grateful you did what was right for you <3