I have been plagued with many different health problems since i was younger. My senior year of high school I randomly developed a chronic neurological condition called Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. I threw up uncontrollably almost every day, often at school or in public places, or at restaurants. I know what it's like to throw up behind whole foods all over your new shoes and/or clothes. I know what it's like to hide from my friends in store bathrooms because i'm about to throw up. I know what it's like to hide from people.
I know what it's like to miss so much school that you don't know the words to the songs in choir, and you have to mouth watermelon on every song.
I know what it's like to feel sick and lonely. To lose your hair and to want to die. To wonder what will even happen when you are dead. To try to feel alive every day is a struggle. Nothing is as lonely as when I'm stuck at home throwing up, and most days I am so tired that I miss out on everything. I lose weight, and rapidly gain weight.
Being sick doesn't get you more attention. Being sick doesn't make you more friends. It is lonely, it is hard, it is feeling that you are in a condemned space, separate from everyone else. It is feeling like a foreigner to the people around you... you look different, you feel different, you feel socially isolated.
There are no mitts for what your body is throwing at you.
I have been plagued with many different health problems since i was younger. My senior year of high school I randomly developed a chronic neurological condition called Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. I threw up uncontrollably almost every day, often at school or in public places, or at restaurants. I know what it's like to throw up behind whole foods all over your new shoes and/or clothes. I know what it's like to hide from my friends in store bathrooms because i'm about to throw up. I know what it's like to hide from people.
I know what it's like to miss so much school that you don't know the words to the songs in choir, and you have to mouth watermelon on every song.
I know what it's like to feel sick and lonely. To lose your hair and to want to die. To wonder what will even happen when you are dead. To try to feel alive every day is a struggle. Nothing is as lonely as when I'm stuck at home throwing up, and most days I am so tired that I miss out on everything. I lose weight, and rapidly gain weight.
Being sick doesn't get you more attention. Being sick doesn't make you more friends. It is lonely, it is hard, it is feeling that you are in a condemned space, separate from everyone else. It is feeling like a foreigner to the people around you... you look different, you feel different, you feel socially isolated.
There are no mitts for what your body is throwing at you.