Emotional numbness is something that I've been dealing with for many many years. Spontaneously crying in a public place for no reason, with no real emotion behind it is disturbing and difficult to understand. That's how I've been while on Lithium. I've become numb to most (if not all) of my emotions, but the ghosts of those emotions still remain. I smile at inappropriate times, cry for no reason, etc.
I've had long-lasting depression for many years with sporadic episodes of mania that don't last all that long. I've been like this for close to 10 years. So I definitely know how it feels to be depressed. You become locked into one way of thinking and it becomes comfortable. I fell in love with my sorrow and couldn't really love anything else. When I started finally seeking treatment, it was all very different and I went through many medication changes and many attempts at suicide.
This song seriously strikes deep at my heart because I can relate so well. Waking up one day while medicated and thinking "I'd rather be miserable right now. I feel right when I'm miserable." I'm still in love with my sorrow and I cannot pull away no matter how hard I try with drugs, therapy...nothing really seems to work.
The song goes from acoustic moments to parts that are very aggressive which symbolize the depressive and manic episodes that encompass bipolar disorder. I think that was a very nice touch.The chorus almost seems angry and stressed, while the verses are very depressed and speaking of depressing things, which is very fitting for this disease.
I know I didn't cover everything but that's what this song means to me.
Emotional numbness is something that I've been dealing with for many many years. Spontaneously crying in a public place for no reason, with no real emotion behind it is disturbing and difficult to understand. That's how I've been while on Lithium. I've become numb to most (if not all) of my emotions, but the ghosts of those emotions still remain. I smile at inappropriate times, cry for no reason, etc.
I've had long-lasting depression for many years with sporadic episodes of mania that don't last all that long. I've been like this for close to 10 years. So I definitely know how it feels to be depressed. You become locked into one way of thinking and it becomes comfortable. I fell in love with my sorrow and couldn't really love anything else. When I started finally seeking treatment, it was all very different and I went through many medication changes and many attempts at suicide.
This song seriously strikes deep at my heart because I can relate so well. Waking up one day while medicated and thinking "I'd rather be miserable right now. I feel right when I'm miserable." I'm still in love with my sorrow and I cannot pull away no matter how hard I try with drugs, therapy...nothing really seems to work.
The song goes from acoustic moments to parts that are very aggressive which symbolize the depressive and manic episodes that encompass bipolar disorder. I think that was a very nice touch.The chorus almost seems angry and stressed, while the verses are very depressed and speaking of depressing things, which is very fitting for this disease.
I know I didn't cover everything but that's what this song means to me.