I think he has lost one of his friends "its nearly been a year since he's been gone". He is trying to help his friend's (the friend that died) girlfriend cope from the loss "Goodness knows she can't move on......" He hates seeing her hurt "I just hate bringing you down" but knows she must move on.
To make matters worse he is trying to act as if he has moved on himself however he really hasn't coped from the lost either. He is using drugs to cope with his pain, specifically heroine. "I dropped my paintbrush in the sand..." Paintbrush = Needle "I cut my hand and wait for it to work" (lose of blood + drug use should yield a much higher high than just drug use) He became so high that he thought he could bring him back to life "I just couldn't bring him back" - This is one thought
However here is an alternative thought that is probably more reasonable:
Maybe that is how his friend died they both used heroine and cut themselves trying to get a better high in doing so his friend died. He tried to bring him back and he still holds on to that memory. Maybe it was his idea for them to do this to get a better high and he is still trying to say sorry to his friend's girlfriend at the same time trying to forgive himself (such a dumb idea to cut yourself and use heroine neither is a good idea but doing both is pure stupid), in return he is becoming depressed still with the memory and the sadness that he has brought to her. I think he still blames himself for his dumb idea, hence "You should know, I never meant to hide, I just hate bringing you down" He believes that when he comes around her he is hurting her by reminding her that if it wasn't for his dumb idea her boyfriend would still be alive.
Now he is torn, trying to help someone else cope when he is just as depressed as they are. He hopes for the future saying he can't get it right "today" but maybe tomorrow? We know that will not work either he can't be the comforter when he himself is distraught.
I think he has lost one of his friends "its nearly been a year since he's been gone". He is trying to help his friend's (the friend that died) girlfriend cope from the loss "Goodness knows she can't move on......" He hates seeing her hurt "I just hate bringing you down" but knows she must move on.
To make matters worse he is trying to act as if he has moved on himself however he really hasn't coped from the lost either. He is using drugs to cope with his pain, specifically heroine. "I dropped my paintbrush in the sand..." Paintbrush = Needle "I cut my hand and wait for it to work" (lose of blood + drug use should yield a much higher high than just drug use) He became so high that he thought he could bring him back to life "I just couldn't bring him back" - This is one thought
However here is an alternative thought that is probably more reasonable:
Maybe that is how his friend died they both used heroine and cut themselves trying to get a better high in doing so his friend died. He tried to bring him back and he still holds on to that memory. Maybe it was his idea for them to do this to get a better high and he is still trying to say sorry to his friend's girlfriend at the same time trying to forgive himself (such a dumb idea to cut yourself and use heroine neither is a good idea but doing both is pure stupid), in return he is becoming depressed still with the memory and the sadness that he has brought to her. I think he still blames himself for his dumb idea, hence "You should know, I never meant to hide, I just hate bringing you down" He believes that when he comes around her he is hurting her by reminding her that if it wasn't for his dumb idea her boyfriend would still be alive.
Now he is torn, trying to help someone else cope when he is just as depressed as they are. He hopes for the future saying he can't get it right "today" but maybe tomorrow? We know that will not work either he can't be the comforter when he himself is distraught.