There's a lot of different meanings taken from his words,what i got from it is hes trying to be the person he once was, the guy she fell in love with&he can't get it right, he's depressed&doesn't want to put his misery on anyone else, hes not opening up cause he doesn't want to disappoint her&bring her down too.Shes getting frustrated because she just wants the guy she loves, but shes trying to reach out and she gets turned down. He starts cutting, gave himself up(paintbrush as in he gave up his passion to change even if cutting ruined it) to get a rush and get back a piece of who he was back for her, he doesn't want to continue hurting people. But at the same time he feels like hes at the bottom of everything, there's no motivation&he feels hopeless and is thinking about suicide cause there's nothing good waiting for him if he sticks around&he thinks hes disappointing everyone around him.Just an opinion could be totally wrong on this, but its what i took from it.
There's a lot of different meanings taken from his words,what i got from it is hes trying to be the person he once was, the guy she fell in love with&he can't get it right, he's depressed&doesn't want to put his misery on anyone else, hes not opening up cause he doesn't want to disappoint her&bring her down too.Shes getting frustrated because she just wants the guy she loves, but shes trying to reach out and she gets turned down. He starts cutting, gave himself up(paintbrush as in he gave up his passion to change even if cutting ruined it) to get a rush and get back a piece of who he was back for her, he doesn't want to continue hurting people. But at the same time he feels like hes at the bottom of everything, there's no motivation&he feels hopeless and is thinking about suicide cause there's nothing good waiting for him if he sticks around&he thinks hes disappointing everyone around him.Just an opinion could be totally wrong on this, but its what i took from it.