I think this is about a crush, and how she just can't let go of it. It destroyed her for a while, but finally, she learned to accept it and finally feels 'good enough'. She knows it's bad, that it's not good for her (decadence) but it makes her feel so happy and she doesn't mind that she's lost herself.
Still, even while accepting it for what it is and not agonising over her feelings, she can't help wonder if she really is good enough and if she can keep it.
I think this is about a crush, and how she just can't let go of it. It destroyed her for a while, but finally, she learned to accept it and finally feels 'good enough'. She knows it's bad, that it's not good for her (decadence) but it makes her feel so happy and she doesn't mind that she's lost herself.
Still, even while accepting it for what it is and not agonising over her feelings, she can't help wonder if she really is good enough and if she can keep it.