Brother Sport

This song is a milestone for me. I realize what it meant for Noah and his relationship with his brother and father, but I feel like they're speaking directly to me.

Speaking volumes to me like the role-model I've lost and never had since.

"I know it sucks that daddy's dumb But try to think of what you want"

Since my father left our family years ago for his own 'dumb' reasons (cocaine, religion, prison, fugitive), I've struggled to open up to my family. I literally get a lump in my throat because I can't fathom trying to replace him as the man of the house, protector/supporter of my mother, and most importantly, father-figure to my younger brother.

"Open up your throat, Matt!"

I feel like I'm just going it alone, nothing or no one to guide me. It weakens me to tears each time they chant my name (Matt) as if they can relate. (watery-eyed as I write this) I bottled up my shitty childhood along with all the burdens it left me inside and never let them free. It ate me up inside, (who gives a fuck about an oxford comma?) and made me who I am.

"Open up your throat And let the all of that time All of that time All of that time go"

Since first hearing it leak, I swallowed my pride and made amends. I set our differences aside and slowly patched up the bond between my mother and I, breaking the tension hovering between us since her divorcee left. Part of me used to despise her not playing the father I thought wanted/needed, but I've let it all go. Not sure if this song was why.. but it sure helped me get over it.

"Matt! Support your brother"

I've also opened myself up to be there for my brother while I'm still around; let him know I'm here to give him all the support my father can't and mother won't. I've realized he's always looked up to me and takes after my every move.

"You got to weigh all you say I'm very particular with everything I do or say Have you seen the way you play I feel like I'm losing the fun/playful part of me You gotta wake up in the mornin' I wake up telling myself today will be better, You gotta have it in your mind" ..but it's always in the back of my mind.

"Until you're fully grown Turned 18, future plans going foggy You've got a real good shot Still attempting to turn life around Don't grow too hold inside Holding onto what inner child I have left Keep it real, keep it real, Losing touch with who I thought I was Shout out" I shout away my inhibitions and sing along to the song.

Probably the most therapeutic 6 minutes I've ever had. You might say I'm twisting the song's meaning, but it's what it means to me; what it means to you personally is all that should matter, anyway.

Just thought I'd share one of the many experiences I've had following this band. Thanks for listening. (tl;dr)