Lyric discussion by Hellebore 

He obviously loves the girl, in a typical teenagery blundering way. Has no idea what to do about it. "heres another song about a gender I'll never understand. he doesn't know how girls think (do any of us) and how to continue this. Baisically if this was a film, well its shite, because as the "hero" he can't do anything about it and the plot can't carry on. So if a film doesnt work, you blame the director. As he feels a bit strongly about it, he wants to "kill the director" "no bridget jones" = no happy ending. This is my head, this is my spout" is a referance to his brain and his sex drive, spout referring to penis. Even working together, they "can't figure anything out" which is how much this is an enigma to him.

Totally agree with what you say, and this being the first time I have read the lyrics (and realized he says "rom-com" (romantic comedy) instead of "roll call", which is huge) and I like your theory on the meaning of the chorus. One thing I would like to say is that I got a different meaning from "This is my head and this is my spout, they work together but they can't figure anything out" I think means that either one of them acting alone would be able to figure it out, but when they are both involved they confuse each...

oh! i always figured "if this is my head and this is my spout" referred to his brain and mouth so he could never say the right thing to get the girl i guess this is why i haven't got a girlfriend (i could quite easily be him)

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