I agree, it's a sad disbelief in love. She tried so hard to find it, but in doing so, had been around. The phrase, "in the end i was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl..." means, to me anyway, that she was either the mean girl because other love-disillusioned men latched on to her when she didn't find them compatable, and she had to be mean and break their heart. Or, she was somebody's in between girl, because she took a liking to the men she slept with and they treated her merely as a booty call, if you will, a woman only for sex. Never a real relationship. Never love. These men move on and seem to fall in love with their girlfriends, but until then, Neko serves as their in-between gratification. Why did they never love her?
So she's been around, but she really tried so hard. See, she's not a slut--though she's been with a lot of people in the search for true love--and it never manifested. She is far from being a slut, she fell in love with the devil--her party scene, wild girl--because love failed her and this is somewhat her wall, her guard to prevent her from becoming hurt anymore. She tried to find real love, and its just getting ridiculous by now, its at a point where this search has made her disillusioned about love. All she is is a sex toy for men she likes, and she can't quit sleeping with them because she does like them, or a point of obsession for men not compatable for her. So this whole sleeping around thing is not her at all--her love with the devil, the party scene, is funny because it is not her at all, like her search for real love, which is funny because it seems so fruitless.
She is a kind person after all (hence being in love with the devil is so funny), and that is why she gives her kindness to strangers, for they cannot hurt her. Perhaps it is the bum on the street, or the single mother. She feels lied to about love eventually coming to her, so she's become guarded. I think, underneath the disillusion, she is merely in denial to herself, "meh, love is not real, it is a lie," for that is easier on the heart than being vulnerable. I think she still harbors a hope that it might come, though. A hopeless romantic in denial. A horribly sad, sad song.
I agree, it's a sad disbelief in love. She tried so hard to find it, but in doing so, had been around. The phrase, "in the end i was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl..." means, to me anyway, that she was either the mean girl because other love-disillusioned men latched on to her when she didn't find them compatable, and she had to be mean and break their heart. Or, she was somebody's in between girl, because she took a liking to the men she slept with and they treated her merely as a booty call, if you will, a woman only for sex. Never a real relationship. Never love. These men move on and seem to fall in love with their girlfriends, but until then, Neko serves as their in-between gratification. Why did they never love her? So she's been around, but she really tried so hard. See, she's not a slut--though she's been with a lot of people in the search for true love--and it never manifested. She is far from being a slut, she fell in love with the devil--her party scene, wild girl--because love failed her and this is somewhat her wall, her guard to prevent her from becoming hurt anymore. She tried to find real love, and its just getting ridiculous by now, its at a point where this search has made her disillusioned about love. All she is is a sex toy for men she likes, and she can't quit sleeping with them because she does like them, or a point of obsession for men not compatable for her. So this whole sleeping around thing is not her at all--her love with the devil, the party scene, is funny because it is not her at all, like her search for real love, which is funny because it seems so fruitless. She is a kind person after all (hence being in love with the devil is so funny), and that is why she gives her kindness to strangers, for they cannot hurt her. Perhaps it is the bum on the street, or the single mother. She feels lied to about love eventually coming to her, so she's become guarded. I think, underneath the disillusion, she is merely in denial to herself, "meh, love is not real, it is a lie," for that is easier on the heart than being vulnerable. I think she still harbors a hope that it might come, though. A hopeless romantic in denial. A horribly sad, sad song.