I think the narrator must be feeliong guilty about not having a job. He says he'll "pretend to cry" and "pretend to try" even if he does these things alone.
Usually pretending to try and cry are only done for the benefit of others. You pretend to cry to gain sympathy. You pretend to try so others think you are doing your best. But here he says he'll pretend even if he's alone. This suggests to me that he is trying to prove to himself that what has happened (losing his job and room) is not his fault, because he's pretending to try.
He is also trying to prove to himself that he really wants a job by pretending to cry. If he didn't cry that might mean that he really is a lazy bum who enjoys not having a job.
I think the line "use my hands to use my heart" means that working was this man's way of life. It is not simply something he does with his hands, it was central to his life. However, he says he has "forgot the part" suggesting that he no longer feels this way. His work is no longer as important to him as it used to be. Perhaps he notices this and it bothers him, and that is why he feels the need to pretend to cry and try: because he wants to convince himself that work is still as important to him as it used to be.
Wow! If that really is what Sufjan was trying to convey then his economy of words is miraculous.
I have been going through this, mostly unemployed for two years after moving from a great engineering job for my wife's school. I found a dream job teaching, then was laid off 20 weeks later due to less students (electrical apprentices, so if there's no work, there's no students...) To top it off, 2 friends commited suicide within one month of each other.
I have been going through this, mostly unemployed for two years after moving from a great engineering job for my wife's school. I found a dream job teaching, then was laid off 20 weeks later due to less students (electrical apprentices, so if there's no work, there's no students...) To top it off, 2 friends commited suicide within one month of each other.
He doesn't feel guilt, he feels unnecessary and unwanted, rejected by a society that sees his skills, his "hands that use his heart", as superfluous. The forgot the part might also be that it's been so long since he worked that he's afraid he's getting rusty. That plus it's a common fear among employers if they see a big gap in employment.
The pretending to try/pretending to cry isn't because he's lazy, it's because he's so beaten down from constant rejection that he has no motivation, and can't really feel anything much anymore. Look at how many times he repeats "Even if I die alone". The pretending to cry might also be just to release emotional stress, or him fooling himself into crying in a land where men don't cry.
A very relevant song to a lot of people right now.
I think the narrator must be feeliong guilty about not having a job. He says he'll "pretend to cry" and "pretend to try" even if he does these things alone.
Usually pretending to try and cry are only done for the benefit of others. You pretend to cry to gain sympathy. You pretend to try so others think you are doing your best. But here he says he'll pretend even if he's alone. This suggests to me that he is trying to prove to himself that what has happened (losing his job and room) is not his fault, because he's pretending to try.
He is also trying to prove to himself that he really wants a job by pretending to cry. If he didn't cry that might mean that he really is a lazy bum who enjoys not having a job.
I think the line "use my hands to use my heart" means that working was this man's way of life. It is not simply something he does with his hands, it was central to his life. However, he says he has "forgot the part" suggesting that he no longer feels this way. His work is no longer as important to him as it used to be. Perhaps he notices this and it bothers him, and that is why he feels the need to pretend to cry and try: because he wants to convince himself that work is still as important to him as it used to be.
Wow! If that really is what Sufjan was trying to convey then his economy of words is miraculous.
Of course, I could be wrong.
I have been going through this, mostly unemployed for two years after moving from a great engineering job for my wife's school. I found a dream job teaching, then was laid off 20 weeks later due to less students (electrical apprentices, so if there's no work, there's no students...) To top it off, 2 friends commited suicide within one month of each other.
I have been going through this, mostly unemployed for two years after moving from a great engineering job for my wife's school. I found a dream job teaching, then was laid off 20 weeks later due to less students (electrical apprentices, so if there's no work, there's no students...) To top it off, 2 friends commited suicide within one month of each other.
He doesn't feel guilt, he feels unnecessary and unwanted, rejected by a society that sees his skills, his "hands that use his heart", as superfluous. The forgot the part might also be that it's been so long since he worked that he's afraid he's getting rusty. That plus it's a common fear among employers if they see a big gap in employment.
The pretending to try/pretending to cry isn't because he's lazy, it's because he's so beaten down from constant rejection that he has no motivation, and can't really feel anything much anymore. Look at how many times he repeats "Even if I die alone". The pretending to cry might also be just to release emotional stress, or him fooling himself into crying in a land where men don't cry.
A very relevant song to a lot of people right now.