I think the character is dying to do something completely crazy and unexpected, such as shocking the Queen by pulling his pants down in front of her, and exposing his honest self to the entire world. The character is tired of the false emotions around him, and the way the people around him marvel over small things like household objects. He is so used to these fake, unnatural emotions that if he ever felt a TRUE emotion, he doesn't know whether he could even handle it anymore.
I think the character is dying to do something completely crazy and unexpected, such as shocking the Queen by pulling his pants down in front of her, and exposing his honest self to the entire world. The character is tired of the false emotions around him, and the way the people around him marvel over small things like household objects. He is so used to these fake, unnatural emotions that if he ever felt a TRUE emotion, he doesn't know whether he could even handle it anymore.