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It ain't fading
Man, I got to let it out
Am I quitting, screaming
Nothing ever comes out
I keep feeling lost
I'll never find my way out
I'm not thanking them
Unless the truth can pour out
Give me some courage
Beating me down now for sometime
Are you laughing at my body?
I hate inside
I hate inside
I'll take this time
To let out what’s inside
Cause I will break
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You raped and stole my pride
And all this hate is bottled up inside
My heart is breaking
Man, you really ripped it out
You take pleasure watching as I claw my way out
The hurt's rising
Soon it's going to tear my soul out
It’s not kosher feeling like I’m on my way out
Give me some courage
Beating me down now for sometime
Are you laughing at my body?
I hate inside
I hate inside
I'll take this time
To let out what’s inside
Cause I will break
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You raped and stole my pride
And all this hate is bottled up inside
Feeling the haze as they cut down my spine
Peeling your flesh like the way you've cut mine
Do you feel happy you fucked up my mind?
You’re going to pay this time
I'll take this time
To let out what’s inside
Cause I will break
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You raped and stole my pride
And all this hate is bottled up inside
I'll take this time
To let out what’s inside
Cause I will break
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You raped and stole my pride
And all this hate is bottled up inside
Man, I got to let it out
Am I quitting, screaming
Nothing ever comes out
I keep feeling lost
I'll never find my way out
I'm not thanking them
Unless the truth can pour out
Give me some courage
Beating me down now for sometime
Are you laughing at my body?
I hate inside
I hate inside
I'll take this time
To let out what’s inside
Cause I will break
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You raped and stole my pride
And all this hate is bottled up inside
My heart is breaking
Man, you really ripped it out
You take pleasure watching as I claw my way out
The hurt's rising
Soon it's going to tear my soul out
It’s not kosher feeling like I’m on my way out
Give me some courage
Beating me down now for sometime
Are you laughing at my body?
I hate inside
I hate inside
I'll take this time
To let out what’s inside
Cause I will break
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You raped and stole my pride
And all this hate is bottled up inside
Feeling the haze as they cut down my spine
Peeling your flesh like the way you've cut mine
Do you feel happy you fucked up my mind?
You’re going to pay this time
I'll take this time
To let out what’s inside
Cause I will break
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You raped and stole my pride
And all this hate is bottled up inside
I'll take this time
To let out what’s inside
Cause I will break
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You raped and stole my pride
And all this hate is bottled up inside
Lyrics submitted by a scar in the sky
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The metaphors
"You raped and stole my pride"
and
"You F@&#$% up my mind"
are quite literally what she did. She became very verbally abusive after she dumped me for a guy she had been seeing behind my back, and over the next 6 months my anxiety exploded into anxiety/panic attacks. Even now, even when I have minor conflicts with cherished friends, I feel like I'm paralyzed by fear or terror that those same cherished friends will say something hurtful. (The fact that I'm 'head over heels' right now for a wonderful lady at my college, two years my senior, who seems to be gradually returning my feelings, doesn't help at all).
At one point I tried describing to her what I was experiencing, hoping that by doing so it might help her see that what was going on is not good, and she pretty much said that she does not care.
What continues to "f$%& up my mind" is that she wants to be friends (and we're one each other's facebook friend's list again for the first time in several months after I removed her (she even sent me a friend request on myspace, which I don't really even use anymore) ) but she still treats me this way, and it's not making any sense. I haven't spoken to her in more than a month because I simply can't approach her, but I can't help this feeling that there's something there she's not saying, and that if I keep talking to her that she might start to take those years of walls down.
-sigh- I'm sorry for the rant. I haven't felt any real peace of mind for a long time.
PEELING THE FLESH LIKE THE WAY YOU'VE CUT MINE
DO YOU FEEL HAPPY YOU FUCKED UP MY MIND
YOU'RE GOING TO PAY THIS TIME
nothing else to be said.