Lyrics for Night of the Living Rednecks as interpreted by x_melancholy_x

Night of the Living Rednecks Lyrics
Ray's guitar broke. No, we won't play Rawhide, won't play anything.
We'll play the theme from the Dinah Shore show.
Who wants to be Dinah Shore? Who's alter-ego is Dinah Shore?
Oh, his fists didn't go up so quickly this time. Yawn, yawn, yawn.
Put those headphones on, it's be-bop time.

I want to tell you a story about the last time I was in Portland.
The night before we played at the Long Goodbye.
I was walking on the street about 10:30 at night.
A lot of people go to bed around here at 10:30 at night.
And well, I was walking along when suddenly these jocks in this
bright blue pickup drove up. It had KC lights, tractor tires,
everything but the CB. It was a life-size Hot Wheels car for some dumb rich kid,
right. Well, they drove up to me
and they yelled what dumb rich kids usually yell, "Hey, faggot,"
and showered me with some water.
So, I stood there thinking, what a bunch of fuckheads and picked up a rock.
Now, I waited, walked down about a block to
where the Kentucky Fried Chicken is, on Burnside,
and sure enough they drove around again.
They said, "Hey, faggot, where's the nearest McDonald's?" I said,
"I don't know" and they squirted me again.
So I threw the rock and put a nice-size dent in their giant Hot Wheels car.
They screeched to a halt in the parking lot of some department store,
who's name I don't remember, it's up the street from Fred Meyer,
and they got out their clubs and they ran after me, yelling,
"We're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot, we're gonna kill you,
you motherfucker."
So I got in a phone booth by the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Burnside,
held my legs straight out like this so they couldn't open the door
to the phone booth. So they began charging the phone booth,
beating on it with their club, yelling,
"We're gonna kill you, you motherfucker, we're gonna kill you,
you god damn faggot." I just looked at them.
So, there was a crowd gathering by this time
and these kids were standing nearby and they said,
"Oh, look at him, he's insane." I thought, ah-hah, here's my way out.
I yelled at them, "Take me to a mental hospital right away.
I want to be be put away.
Please put me away, c'mon, call the cops and put me away.
Please put me away now."
They said, "Alright, faggot, we're calling the police." So they called the police.
The cop comes out and I go, ah, my savior, I'm away from these jocks.
He opens up the door, "Get out of there, you,"
throws me up against the car, frisks me, shoves me in the back.
Then he goes over to the jocks, "Now what happened here?
It looks like we're going have to take him to jail
but we got to have the full story first"
So the jocks, who had an ace in the hole, ace in the hole
Take down on the bass, a little bit down on the bass. Yeah,
ace in the hole, and they go, "Well, goddammit,
the motherfucker put a dent in my truck, a $5000 truck, right,
so I got my club, I went out and I wanted to kill him.
I want to kill him. Let me kill him, goddammit.
Let me kill him."
So the cop made them go home, and he drove me home,
and he confiscated their club and my rock as further evidence.
And I thought, so this is Oregon, huh? Tolerant Oregon?

Ray, are you done with your guitar yet? He isn't done yet.
So what else do you want to hear, I'm out of stories.
That's a true story, too. Just ask Bruce Loose
---
"Night of the Living Rednecks" as written by Klaus Flouride Bruce Slesinger
Lyrics © BUG MUSIC
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Variant
06-11-2002

 Rated  -1 
HEY FAGGOT!!!!!!1111

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StrayKattOi
07-01-2002

 Rated  0 
the song? well means nothing really. Just amuses and entertains me.....Ah I love jello's stories!

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vicki_vicious
07-27-2002

 Rated  0 
haha i think this is a great song. and if u lived where i live haha you'd know this song describes many MANY people around here haha i think its great thats he throws a rock at them!!!! haha and oh yeah its a 90, 000 dollar truck, just clarifing that. it doesnt really mean anything just talking about how stupid rednecks are...

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MountainJew
03-06-2003

 Rated  0 
Sounds like $5000 to me...

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shadowwiththeeyes
10-28-2004

 Rated  0 
Who;s Dinah Shore?

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PersonMan92
11-08-2005

 Rated  +1 
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0794918/

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knuxman
03-31-2006

 Rated  -1 
Reminds me of... all the people I know besides my friends; jocks, idiots in giant hot wheels cars.

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Death7991
04-07-2006

 Rated  0 
is that chamical warfare they are playing?

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shenlong152
06-29-2006

 Rated  -1 
Funny portland rednecks!

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Violentpacifist
02-04-2007

 Rated  -1 
I have far too many stories like these

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Bullzeye
02-26-2007

 Rated  +2 
Since I'm an anal-retentive DK nerd, here's a few corrections:

yes, they are playing the last bit of Chemical Warfare as the song starts.

Somebody from the crowd (you can hear him) keeps yelling out "Rawhide!", Jello responds with "No we won't play Rawhide, we won't play anything." (since Ray's guitar is being re-stringed at the moment)

It's either $5,000 or $9,000 truck, I can't tell which. Keep in mind this is in 1980 dollars. Adjusting for inflation, that's about $23,000. Sounds about right for a nice pickup truck. It's not $90,000, as somebody suggested. That's ridiculous. That'd be worth $241k now. So unless the truck's gold-plated and made by Maserati, I don't think so.

At the end of the song, the last thing Jello says is "That's a true story too, just ask Bruce Loose." Bruce Loose, (sometimes spelled Lose) was the bassist/singer of the San Fran punk band Flipper that did a lot of gigs with DK in the early 80s. Jello and him were buddies as I understand it.

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River Wolf
04-25-2007

 Rated  -1 
this is a great satire-reminds me of all the fuck-twits who i hated growing up with

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rawr_hillary
01-22-2009

 Rated  -1 
Alas, I know so many people like that.

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