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My lips are shaking, my nails are bit off
Been a month since I heard myself talk
All the advantage this life's got on me
Picture a cup in the middle of the sea
And I fight back in my mind
Never lets me be right
I've got memories, I got shit
So much it don't show
Oh, I walked the line, when you held me in that night
I walked the line, when you held my hand that night
An empty shell seems so easy to crack
Got all these questions, don't know who I could even ask
So I'll just lie alone and wait for a dream
Where I'm not ugly and you're looking at me
And I'll stay in bed
All blue, I've seen hell
If just once I could feel love
Oh, stare back at me, yeah
But I walked the line, when you held me in that night
Oh, I walked the line, when you held my hand that night
Oh, I walked the line, when you held me close that night
I paid the price, never held you in real life
My lips are shaking...
Been a month since I heard myself talk
All the advantage this life's got on me
Picture a cup in the middle of the sea
And I fight back in my mind
Never lets me be right
I've got memories, I got shit
So much it don't show
Oh, I walked the line, when you held me in that night
I walked the line, when you held my hand that night
An empty shell seems so easy to crack
Got all these questions, don't know who I could even ask
So I'll just lie alone and wait for a dream
Where I'm not ugly and you're looking at me
And I'll stay in bed
All blue, I've seen hell
If just once I could feel love
Oh, stare back at me, yeah
But I walked the line, when you held me in that night
Oh, I walked the line, when you held my hand that night
Oh, I walked the line, when you held me close that night
I paid the price, never held you in real life
My lips are shaking...
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"So I'll just lie alone and wait for a dream
Where I'm not ugly and you're looking at me"
This would definitely be after you've beeen rejected because she's just not attracted to you...every guy knows that feeling where they completely fall for a girl but she's just not attracted to them and you wish you could change yourself but know that nothing will ever change her opinion.
"And I fight back in my mind
Never lets me be right
I've got memories, I've got shit
So much it don't show"
To me this kind of represents a time when everything was perfect and fine. I guess kind of like being a kid...you have all the memories of your childhood, and then you realize how much has changed over time and it just gets you down and you realize that you're kind of going down this downward spiral you never though you'd be down. You're nervous, lack confidence, lonely, and dreaming is your only escape from reality. Only thing is when you wake up everything is still the same and that routine repeats...you just can't seem to get your mind off the past
Then, when you are conscious of your situation you want to explode, you want to crack the shell, you got nobody wiser than you that may help you and the only thing that may bring some light to your life would be the woman that ignored you, or didnt want to go any further with you.
Seen in that way, it's brilliant.
"Been a month since I heard myself talk".....can relate to that....pretty much only went out to buy alcohol myself...never saying a word to anyone for some time. And over time as addiction really takes hold even the smallest and easiest of every days problems seem to take on a much more enormous size than they actually are.... "an empty cup in the middle of the sea".
And anyone that has battled an addiction and overcame it knows how ugly it can be.
May 15th 2009 3 years sobriety now. :)