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You'll rescue me right?
In the exact same way they never did,
I'll be happy right?
When your healing powers kick in
You'll complete me right?
Then my life can finally begin
I'll be worthy right?
Only when you realize the gem I am?
But this won't work now the way it once did
And I won't keep it up even though I would love to
Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim
These precious illusions in my head did not let me down
When I was defenseless
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends
This ring will help me yet as will you knight in shining armor
This pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water
But this won't work as well as the way it once did
'cause I want to decide between survival and bliss
And though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim
These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid
And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend
I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survival mode
In the exact same way they never did,
I'll be happy right?
When your healing powers kick in
You'll complete me right?
Then my life can finally begin
I'll be worthy right?
Only when you realize the gem I am?
But this won't work now the way it once did
And I won't keep it up even though I would love to
Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim
These precious illusions in my head did not let me down
When I was defenseless
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends
This ring will help me yet as will you knight in shining armor
This pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water
But this won't work as well as the way it once did
'cause I want to decide between survival and bliss
And though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim
These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid
And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend
I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survival mode
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I think this explains the meaning of the song in a nutshell. We all look outside ourselves for approval, love, acceptance etc etc regardless of our level of insecurities. Alanis realises the 'magic' happens when she accepts herself as she is regardless of weight, relationship status, profession etc etc.
So the precious illusions of love from another for example maybe a quick fix to make her feel good but they dont last until she fully loves herself and becomes her own best friend.
She once said in an interview she believes the micro is the macro therefore if we all learned to heal and love ourselves the impact on the macro (the universe) would leave this chaotic world in peace.
It blows my mind!!!!
It blows my mind!!!! "
And I think this is pretty much what she sings about in "underneath"
for me this song really talks about the illusions//visions//thoughts etc that she has for meeting guys and talks if meeting one, and him being all and everything. And this guy will make her feel worthy of herself and fulfill her. He'll be much different to the others, be perfect in her eyes.
But once she gets into this relationship, reality will eventually hit her, she realises things are not like that: 'but this won't work now the way it once did
and I won't keep it up even though I would love to
once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim
' She'll realise that it isnt that perfect, maybe the connection was all it cracked up to be and she can't put on a facade to play the fantasy. She knows it's not who she is and it has to end.she wont let this dream guy treat her any way "play the victim" just so this can be the fantasy she thought it would be.
She struggles to let go of this fantasy as these ideas,her naivety have looked after her when she little. the struggle in shown in:"
this ring will me yet as will you knight in shining armor
this pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water
"the ring- the actual relationship in comparison to the 'knight' shes envisioned. the pill"-her fantasy in comparison to her questof finding the right guy, going through many guys like water.
she says its getting more difficult ot keep it up as its a decision between bliss and survival.The bliss she finds in this fantasty to the survival, the need to find a guy .
Shes know shes not right with the guy but she doesnt know who she is right with,
Its just a fight, for her let go of this vision.
The parentally ignored / neglected / abandoned / unsupported little kid turns to the "invisible best friends" who didn't let her down when she "was defensless." But in adulthood, "it won't work the way it once did" if we stay in our precious illusions, invisible best friends, and histrionic approval-seeking.
Do "Alice in Wonderland" (it's coming next year... with Johnny Depp in the saddle) long enough as a child to try to deal with being left to drift... and go "mildly psychotic" (or, technically, "borderline") because you're =addicted= to the defense mechanism by the time you're ten or so.
Lord, I hope that little girl finds some peace some day. I'm a lot older than she is, writing about the same stuff (in very different fashion), and I'm still not "there" yet. Sigh.
The big names in print on this stuff are Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck, Wayne Dyer (who actually just ripped it off from the first two guys), Donald Meichenbaum, Jeffrey Young and Richard Wessler. The most modern therapy I know of for curing people of it is "SIQR." I actually did that therapy using the ideas Al laid out in the choruses in "Joining You." Quite an adventure.
This song is about waking up, letting go of childhood illusions, and finding out who you are, so you can finally let go of these dreams.
the precious illusions are her thoughts that a man will make her whole. and even though shedding them is really hard, it's time to grow up.
In the beginning of the song, she sounds so uncertain.. almost like a child questioning her parents as to whether she's going right or wrong in some endeavour, or rather likens her experience with the guy to such. She throws in several rhetorical questions that emphasizes that.
The persona was hurt in previous relationships... or was with guys that did little to help her self esteem. she has an idealistic view on relationships to protect her from getting hurt. The lyrics whilst trying to guard herself portray intense insecurities. Hence why she keeps asking questions that basically ask 'can you fix me? can you fix what went wrong all the times before?'
And while she's waiting on some guy that can fix all that is wrong.. she has these 'precious illusions' that protect her meanwhile. They're her safe world that reassures her and are probably greatly exaggerated by her ideals. Parting with them, would be like tearing herself apart emotionally to admit that her ideals are just ideals... it would be like parting with a childhood best friend - a cherished memory.
As for the boys gone through water.. i'm going to go out on a wild guess...
"this ring will me yet as will you knight in shining armor
this pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water"
Getting married will be like a promise... but there's no such things as knights in shining armor (atleast not in present day society.. its entirely fairy tale or deemed as such). She probably means the pill won't work.. because all the boys they came and went like a blur, none of which truly stood out.. Or helped break her away from her ideals. They were as ordinary and common as water.. They were compared to water and not wine or such.
I don't know if i'm right.. thats just what i think.
As for the boys/water thing, I've never been sure about that myself, I think it's a clumsily written line that could have been better if it didn't have to fit into the rhythm/rhyme scheme, but I have a theory that it means that water passes thorugh people and through the earth very quickly, directly, and frequently, and she's been going through men in that way trying to find this ideal man to fix her problems and complete her. I.e. she's been going through men like water. It's a sketchy theory :-\