Lyrics for Maynard's Dick as interpreted by zekey baby

Maynard's Dick Lyrics
It's all an open center
Opens up and lets the wind lift him away
It doesn't have to feel water
? It's just a place that feels right with him ?
Kinda like the way you're breathing
I kinda like the way you keep looking away
Would you like to glide on
Slide a mile six inches at a time on Maynard's dick

There's a shyness found in reason
Apprehensive influence swallow away
You seem to feel abysmal take it
? then you're careful grace for sure ?
Kinda like the way you're breathing
Kinda like the way you keep looking away
Would you like to climb on
Climb on my six inches and go down on Maynard's dick

Took you out in the back of the toolshed
Put it right on top of your forehead
Took you out in the back of the toolshed
Now you know what you're fuckin with... Maynard's dick!

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  • 126 Comments
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*SoBeR~STiNKFiST*
01-27-2002

Rated 0 
only six inches ??????

hehe, just kidding :)

all hail maynards dick :D

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DatheR
03-09-2002

Rated +2 
Hey I'd be proud to take a ride on Maynard's dick.

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tricky_dick
03-14-2002

Rated +1 
their are only two guys that i would have sex with and thats maynard james keenan and dave brockie (oderous urungus of gwar)


disclaimer: i'm not gay. thank you

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Nyfe
04-14-2002

Rated 0 
My thoughts of this song is, first of all, this song has been around for a long time, they didnt just record it for salival. Ever try playing it? Its pretty easy... The lyrics are non sense. I believe this is actually Tool's first song as a band. They recorded this one awhile ago according to toolshed.down.net, but it only surfaced via Salival. I think they were just experimenting and getting familiar with each other.

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Galactic Cactus
04-17-2002

Rated 0 
Just a fuckin-around kinda song. Or maybe it has a meaning SO DEEP, that we just aren't getting it.

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joshthack
04-19-2002

Rated 0 
This song is hilarious. When I first got this album and this song started I was like, "wow a Tool song with a happy sound to it, I like it." And then it turns out to be about Maynards dick! Great song

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IcedPachyderm
04-24-2002

Rated 0 
Don't Listen to the lyrics next time u listen to this song. It is one of the coolest riffs ever. Its very simple. Adam Jones is a genious. Maynard is a goofy genious. Danny is amazing and Justin is hardcore.

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zekey baby
05-01-2002

Rated 0 
this song is awesome, everytime we're all bombed or trippin...we always seem to manage to end up singin it. i love the riffs
primo

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ParabolTapeworm
05-02-2002

Rated 0 
it may have a deeper meaning than you understand. Perhaps it isnt just about maynards dick, perhaps its about how the Los Angeles Municipal Court should suck his dick. "Take you to the back of the Toolshed, place ontop of your forhead...now you know what you're fuckin with, maynards dick.

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reverand_chris
05-07-2002

Rated 0 
ok first to icedpachyderm, Justin wasnt even in the band yet..if there is bass on it, its by Paul D'Amour. but y'know maybe you guys need to stop with this "deep meaning" bullshit...could it be maynard is just proud of his 6 inches and wrote a song about it?

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rzatheraza
05-08-2002

Rated 0 
maybe, who knows? not me. still tight though.

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NicoleInWonderland
05-10-2002

Rated 0 
HAHAHAH!

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Bill the landlord
05-25-2002

Rated 0 
I HIGHLY doubt it has a depper meaning, due the lyrics and when it was written. This was written during the Opiate days, when Maynard was much more literal with his lyrics. You can pretty much figure out what most of the songs on Opiate mean without doing much thinking.

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stayhuman
05-28-2002

Rated 0 
a great song which shows the sense of humour of the band - that they are not all deep, philosophical and metaphorical all of the time.

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Mr. Bojangles
06-01-2002

Rated 0 
Yea I think they were just screwin around in the studio one day and recorded this song just for laughs.

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Ar3s
06-16-2002

Rated 0 
heh - me and my friend's band always make non-sense songs and make fun of eachother and people on TV, and other guys at school ... Early band songs are always a mess around - Just like a beta-test of their riffs and skills, with some makeshift lyrics to fill the gap :D

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ReeBee
07-19-2002

Rated -1 
Every Tool song has a deep meaning. Maynard was sexually abuse when he was a child that took place in a toolshed. Hence the toolshed reference AND the name of the band - TOOL. (DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO THE WORDS OF PRISON SEX?!?!) This song is about him wanting to understand what was going through his father's head while he was raping his own son!!! No meaning? What do you think? For Christ's sake, JUST LISTEN TO THE WORDS, don't just hear them!!!!!

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NicoleInWonderland
07-20-2002

Rated 0 
HEY ReeBee, whatever your smoking, share some with me.

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twizidclown
07-20-2002

Rated 0 
ya,share some with me too reebee,sounds good watever u smoking.

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Greensaint
07-21-2002

Rated 0 
is the toolshed abuse thing true? *hmmm* well I guess this song could have some hidden message if that's true...I guess...

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NicoleInWonderland
07-25-2002

Rated 0 
Doubtfull.

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ReeBee
07-25-2002

Rated 0 
Just listen to the lyrics of just about every song Tool has ever performed. You don't have to be all that intelligent to figure it out. NicoleInWonderland, it seems to me like your name is very fitting. And, it's doubtful.

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EmO_KiDD
08-14-2002

Rated 0 
LOL..This song is great..Nice.

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1 Reply
crackermcnacca
08-26-2002

Rated 0 
yo emo kidd you think molestation is funny shit well then bitch listen to this shit play this song after you listen to prison sex and listen to the words in prison sex and then listen to this song smart ass at less read the lyrics you iggrant piece of shit

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riot4life
09-05-2002

Rated 0 
Actually.....Maynard was molested and raped by his father on a few occasions......suprisingly they are at peace with eachother today and they meet at least once a year. I don't know if they ever did it in a tool shed, but that part comes from his fellow band members saying once that they were going to take him back into a toolshed and beat the fuck out of him. That is also PART of the reason they named the band TOOL. So ReeBee, ur not crazy man....ppl r just misinformed about some things.

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