Were you and he lovers?
And would you say so if you were?
On a forecourt
On a Friday
Passing my way
Oh...

Were you and he lovers?
And if you were, then say that you were!
On a groundsheet
Under canvas
With your tent-flap
Open wide

A note upon his desk
"P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
Leather elbows on a tweed coat
-Oh!-
Is that the best you can do ?
So came his reply :
"But on the desk is where I want you!"

So I ask (even though I know):
Were you and he lovers ?



Lyrics submitted by weezerific:cutlery

Track duration: 03:13

"Alsatian Cousin" as written by Steven Morrissey, Stephen Brian Street

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., EMI Music Publishing

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Alsatian Cousin song meanings
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23 Comments

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  • 0
    My Opinion:Curious fact. Johnny Marr owned two Alsatians at the time of the smiths, Rufus and Curtis. Just throwing that out there.
    Flag mortDifficileon June 10, 2013   Link
  • +1
    General Comment:I don't know about anyone else, but I always took "tent flap" as a reference to a guy having a hard-on underneath his pants. You know, the "tent" created by the guy's dick, and the flap being the zipper/opening to his pants. It seems to go with the general thread of homosexuality in Morrissey's songs. "Tent flap / Open wide".... the "open wide" part can be taken one of two ways. Lol.
    Flag scottdoesntknow628on February 17, 2012   Link
  • 0
    Song Meaning:Yes his lyrics are ambiguous. However, you can clearly get a feeling for a song just by listening to it and this song has never come across as anything other than about two men. I'm a straight guy who only recently started listening to Morrissey and knew absolutely nothing about the "rumours" of his sexuality.
    Flag dukestravels07on April 19, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:What's always confounded me about this song is what the title refers to 'Alsation Cousin'. It sounds like a reference to a short story or a play, but it isn't. Alsace-Lorraine is a region of Northeast France. So that might place the background of one of the three people in the story- the cheating partner, the person with whom they are cheating or the cuckold. My guess would be that it refers to the cheater since that is to whom the lyrics are addressed and whom the song centers around. But why is it significant the the cheater is from Alsace or the narrator's cousin? Perhaps Morrissey was just trying to think of a song title more interesting that 'Cheating Partner' or 'The Girl Most Likely To'.
    Flag BillyBuddon May 04, 2010   Link
  • +2
    General Comment:I can't say I thought this song was about a gay relationship:

    "With your tent-flap
    open wide,"

    This sounds like a really mean-spirited reference to a woman on her back with her legs open. He's putting her down, and he's putting down her lovemaking, cheapening it. This song is about the anger, frustration, feeling of weakness and rejection of a man who's lover's decided to take someone else.
    Flag Komekoon January 29, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I can't say I thought this song was about a gay relationship:

    "With your tent-flap
    open wide,"

    This sounds like a really mean-spirited reference to a woman on her back with her legs open. He's putting her down, and he's putting down her lovemaking, cheapening it. This song is about the anger, frustration, feeling of weakness and rejection of a man who's lover's decided to take someone else.
    Flag Komekoon January 29, 2010   Link
  • +3
    General Comment:Alsatian: Derogatory noun or adjective for an unattractive woman.

    This song is about an unattractive girl who is jealous over the affair of two people, one whom she is the secret admirer of. She sits behind him in class.
    She has been spying on the two, observing their affairs.
    One day, the two are passing a note in class. She can see that the note says,
    "BRING ME HOME AND HAVE ME"
    (Leather elbows on a tweed coat) is in reference to the other person he is having the affair with. This is stating in a catty way, that this person has no sense of style, and is asked honestly, "Is that the best you can do?"
    She sees him write the reply, "BUT ON THE DESK IS WHERE I WANT YOU"
    She knows that they are lovers, but confronts him anyway asking, "Where you and he lovers?" Pressing him to admit his homosexuality. This action is out of jealousy.
    "WERE YOU AND HE LOVERS, AND WOULD YOU SAY SO IF YOU WERE?"

    Alsatian Cousin is about falling for someone you know you will never have. In this case, a double-edged sword. Knowing you are unattractive and at the same time knowing the other person can never be attracted to you, because of sexual preference.

    Morrissey has always confronted the frustrations of sexuality, both hetero and homo. Women falling for him, but he not being able to feel the same way. He, falling for men that would never consider the thought. Offering himself sexually to fans who are always willing, only to be let down from rejection in a private off-stage affair. Morrissey finds himself feeling unattractive, subjecting to self deprication.
    "WHERE THE WORLDS UGLIEST BOY BECAME WHAT YOU SEE, HERE I AM, THE UGLIEST MAN." from: Late Night Maudlin Street

    Morrissey relates himself to the Alsatian Cousin.
    Flagged lguillen73on April 18, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I always had it down as a student/teacher romance. Possibly from the point of view of a jealous ex of the girl/boy who's gone for the teacher.
    Flag liammacrae1on October 14, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I love this song so much.
    Does any of you have an idea of what the title is referring to?
    Flag JeanieJoeon September 08, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:zeroed_out you could take that just as easily both ways It could also be about a woman and a man, as I will show here:


    A note upon his desk
    (this is a note Girl left on Man's desk)

    "P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
    (the note is from Girl, and it asks Man to take Girl home and have Girl).

    Leather elbows on a tweed coat
    -Oh!-
    Is THAT the best you can do ?
    (Narrator is talking to Girl now, asking Girl if Man's the best Girl can do. Narrator is not amused by the note Girl put on Man's desk (which Narrator read) because Narrator thinks Girl can do better in finding a mate than settling for Man)

    So came his reply :
    (so came the reply from Man to Girl)
    "But on the desk is where I want you!"
    (Man wants Girl to stay and have it on the desk, not go home).

    Where's the homosexual notes in that? We could just as easily replace Girl with Second Man - it could be ANY sex. Maybe you're reading your own preferences into it?
    Flag thedork-2on August 22, 2008   Link

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