i'd be lying if I said I was completely unscathed
I might be proving you right with my silence or my retaliation
would I be letting you win in my non reaction?
how would I explain?
how would I explain this to my children if I had them?
because I can't not
because I can't not
because I can't afford to be misread one more time
would it be whining if I said I needed a hug?
would you feel slighted if I said your love's not enough?
and how can I complain?
and how can I complain when I'm the one that reaches for this?
because I can't not
because I can't not
because I cannot walk without my crutches
because I can't not
because I can't not
because I can't help wonder why you ask me
to all the unheard wisdom in the school yard
you think you're the right ones
you swear you're the charmed ones I'm sure
but how can you go on with such conviction?
who do you think you are when you question me?
because we can't not
because we can't not
because we can't help laugh at underestimations
because we can't not
because we can't not
because we can't afford to be misled one more time
because we can't not
because we can't not
because we cannot help without your willingness
why do you affect me? why do you affect me still?
why do you hinder me? why do you hinder me still?
why do you unnerve me? why do you unnerve me still?
why do you trigger me? why do you trigger me still?



Lyrics submitted by Lamia

Track duration: 04:36


Can't Not song meanings
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15 Comments

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  • 0
    General Comment:My personal favorite song by Alanis spanning all her albums thus far.

    I've sat in the dark replaying this song over and over trying to piece together a semblance of meaning -- but it is all too difficult. I can piece together individual lyrics, but the overall theme alludes me.

    I think the fact that she starts off with "because *I* can't not" and then transitions to "because *we* can't not" is very telling though.
    Flag itirnitiion July 24, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:totally underated album, i absolutely love this song, even more when she does it live!!!
    Flag sneakerpimpsfanon November 26, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Al had a really nasty time of it in junior high and high school (yes; she went to public schools) where she ran into a lot of catty b******t from her classmates about being the Canadian Debbie Gibson. She's also taken a lot of guff from airheads in the media who accused her of being yet another "devised product" in her 1994-95 "reincarnation."

    On another level (and this is not unusual; Alanis often writes at two or more levels of allegory), she's remonstrating with her own "critical inner parent" here. "why do you affect me? why do you affect me still? why do you hinder me? why do you hinder me still? why do you unnerve me? why do you unnerve me still? why do you trigger me? why do you trigger me still?" Straight out of any good psychodynamic psychology text.

    (Does she =read= a lot? She's a =fiend= with a psychology book. Ask her.)
    Flag naughtmoseson September 09, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Oh, I forgot, there is something odd about the laugh at the beginning of the song.
    Flag Fishfisheateaton April 19, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:This song is simply about disparity at deciding to not do something. It could be because you are convinced of your limits, convinced you should not bite off more than you can chew.
    Flag Fishfisheateaton April 19, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:such a great great great song!!!!!!!! cookieman said it best. nothing to add. just wanna say, this is one of those songs you can relate to just about anything in your life. i love screaming along to this song, especially the last verse. it's so comforting.
    Flag sopurejunkieon January 22, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Ridiculously good song off a gem of an album, the lyrics arguably evoke the songwriter's personal thoughts from a variety of situations: a falling out between friends, the recognition of a dependency, shame over an embarrassing moment.
    Flag richard022on December 26, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I effing LOVE SFIJ
    Flag Shmeemeron July 28, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:i like the meaning cookieman put forward, i think you could easily attribute it to that, but i also think there are other interpretations referring to a particularly volitile relationship that she feels she cannot handle, and as for SFIJ by far her best album
    Flag forbiddensnowflakeon November 05, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:IMHO, this song is about the media and addresses journalists and/or critics. She simply explains how the way the media is treating her affects her.
    I think that once you take this point of view you'll see that it fits the lyrics perfectly, but still, several comments:
    "how can I complain when I'm the one that reaches for this" - she feels that she can't complain about the media's attitude towards her because as a pop star she has no choice but to expose herself to the public.
    "because I cannot walk without my crutches" - the crutches could be a symbol for her music which she can't give up.
    The school yard probably reflects the way Alanis sees the smartass critics.
    Flag cookiemanon July 10, 2006   Link

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