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i'd be lying if I said I was completely unscathed
I might be proving you right with my silence or my retaliation
would I be letting you win in my non reaction?
how would I explain?
how would I explain this to my children if I had them?
because I can't not
because I can't not
because I can't afford to be misread one more time
would it be whining if I said I needed a hug?
would you feel slighted if I said your love's not enough?
and how can I complain?
and how can I complain when I'm the one that reaches for this?
because I can't not
because I can't not
because I cannot walk without my crutches
because I can't not
because I can't not
because I can't help wonder why you ask me
to all the unheard wisdom in the school yard
you think you're the right ones
you swear you're the charmed ones I'm sure
but how can you go on with such conviction?
who do you think you are when you question me?
because we can't not
because we can't not
because we can't help laugh at underestimations
because we can't not
because we can't not
because we can't afford to be misled one more time
because we can't not
because we can't not
because we cannot help without your willingness
why do you affect me? why do you affect me still?
why do you hinder me? why do you hinder me still?
why do you unnerve me? why do you unnerve me still?
why do you trigger me? why do you trigger me still?
I might be proving you right with my silence or my retaliation
would I be letting you win in my non reaction?
how would I explain?
how would I explain this to my children if I had them?
because I can't not
because I can't not
because I can't afford to be misread one more time
would it be whining if I said I needed a hug?
would you feel slighted if I said your love's not enough?
and how can I complain?
and how can I complain when I'm the one that reaches for this?
because I can't not
because I can't not
because I cannot walk without my crutches
because I can't not
because I can't not
because I can't help wonder why you ask me
to all the unheard wisdom in the school yard
you think you're the right ones
you swear you're the charmed ones I'm sure
but how can you go on with such conviction?
who do you think you are when you question me?
because we can't not
because we can't not
because we can't help laugh at underestimations
because we can't not
because we can't not
because we can't afford to be misled one more time
because we can't not
because we can't not
because we cannot help without your willingness
why do you affect me? why do you affect me still?
why do you hinder me? why do you hinder me still?
why do you unnerve me? why do you unnerve me still?
why do you trigger me? why do you trigger me still?
Lyrics submitted by Lamia
Track duration: 04:36
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I've sat in the dark replaying this song over and over trying to piece together a semblance of meaning -- but it is all too difficult. I can piece together individual lyrics, but the overall theme alludes me.
I think the fact that she starts off with "because *I* can't not" and then transitions to "because *we* can't not" is very telling though.
On another level (and this is not unusual; Alanis often writes at two or more levels of allegory), she's remonstrating with her own "critical inner parent" here. "why do you affect me? why do you affect me still? why do you hinder me? why do you hinder me still? why do you unnerve me? why do you unnerve me still? why do you trigger me? why do you trigger me still?" Straight out of any good psychodynamic psychology text.
(Does she =read= a lot? She's a =fiend= with a psychology book. Ask her.)
I think that once you take this point of view you'll see that it fits the lyrics perfectly, but still, several comments:
"how can I complain when I'm the one that reaches for this" - she feels that she can't complain about the media's attitude towards her because as a pop star she has no choice but to expose herself to the public.
"because I cannot walk without my crutches" - the crutches could be a symbol for her music which she can't give up.
The school yard probably reflects the way Alanis sees the smartass critics.