So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
Sitting here like uninvited company
Wallowing in my own obscenities
I share a cigarette with negativity
Sitting here like wet ashes
With x's in my eyes and drawing flies
Bathed in perspiration drowned my enemies
Used my inspiration for a guillotine
I fire a loaded mental cannon to the page
Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial
Firing the pistol that shoots my holy pride
Sitting here like wet ashes
With x's in my eyes, and drawing flies
I'll say hey, what you yelling
About, conditions, permission, mirrored self affliction
Hey, what you yellin' about sadist's
Co-addiction, perfect analogies
Hey, what you yellin' about conditions
Permission mirrored self affliction
Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial
Firing the pistol that shoots my holy pride
Sitting here like wet ashes with x's in my eyes
And drawing flies (flies)
Sitting here like uninvited company
Wallowing in my own obscenities
Share a cigarette with negativity
Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial
Firing the pistol that shoots my holy pride
Sitting here like wet ashes
With x's in my eyes and drawing flies
(Flies)
Wallowing in my own obscenities
I share a cigarette with negativity
Sitting here like wet ashes
With x's in my eyes and drawing flies
Bathed in perspiration drowned my enemies
Used my inspiration for a guillotine
I fire a loaded mental cannon to the page
Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial
Firing the pistol that shoots my holy pride
Sitting here like wet ashes
With x's in my eyes, and drawing flies
I'll say hey, what you yelling
About, conditions, permission, mirrored self affliction
Hey, what you yellin' about sadist's
Co-addiction, perfect analogies
Hey, what you yellin' about conditions
Permission mirrored self affliction
Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial
Firing the pistol that shoots my holy pride
Sitting here like wet ashes with x's in my eyes
And drawing flies (flies)
Sitting here like uninvited company
Wallowing in my own obscenities
Share a cigarette with negativity
Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial
Firing the pistol that shoots my holy pride
Sitting here like wet ashes
With x's in my eyes and drawing flies
(Flies)
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
LOL, I gotta say if this is just him saying screw it and writing his frustration for not knowing what to write, "to the page" then that is funny.
However, I always thought this was like a message to all those who are usually negative. In this music genre there is a lot of negativity, and for the most part, with good reason, however, I always felt as though the message were along the lines of, if you are always negative and your view is that nothing is ever beautiful, you're kind of just sitting there like wet ashes with x's on your eyes.
My interpretation is more than probably wrong, because of some of the other lines, like "fire a loaded mental cannon to the page", but I suppose you could say that the page is "life" and that his mind has already pre-determined that life is so bad, and thus attacking (firing) at it.
Who knows. Awesome song, though.