how many times
have I noticed that our eyes hardly ever meet
from your judgment seat
i can feel the anger for my very being
fill me in
on when you became such a big part of my life
that i should bother
with all your lies designed to bring me down

wrong again
don't depend
on any reaction again

i remember the icy walls that shot up from nowhere
and i can see every lie you've ever told yourself
you bleed me dry and i don't ask why but i'm left with the dust
judas kiss i dismiss thank you all for this i am untouched
i am un...

wait again
i'm not through with the screaming
i contend
that you've got nothing better to do

trade my life for a barrel of gold
find someone else before i get too old
if i live my life for aesthetic gain
will you repay me with all your shame

i can see every light inside your brain
go on every time that i walk by for noise and whispers
your comfort in my suffering is no longer disturbing
i'm lost beyond your petty stopwatch in life's real time
life's real...

wait again
i'm not through with the screaming
i contend
that you've got nothing better to do

trade my life for a barrel of gold
find someone else before i get too old
if i live my life for aesthetic gain
will you repay me with all your shame

don't get up
i was only leaving the room
when the door
of your judgment
swings back around again
maybe i'll stop to watch your act
i'll go on my way

i've seen quite enough of too many childish games
i'm ashamed of every moment that i ever gave them the time of day
all the worst of enemies are somehow always friends that used to be



Lyrics submitted by jt

Track duration: 04:59


My Life In The Knife Trade song meanings
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50 Comments

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  • +1
    General Comment:"all the worst of enemies are somehow always friends that used to be"

    This line rings so true with me..
    I've had so many 'friends' that turned to be thieves..backstabbers..liars.

    I love this song.
    Flag This2x4Skeletonon November 08, 2011   Link
  • -1
    General Comment:"all the worst of enemies are somehow always friends that used to be"

    This line rings so true with me..
    I've had so many 'friends' that turned to be thieves..backstabbers..liars.

    I love this song.
    Flag This2x4Skeletonon November 08, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Incredible band. I've seen them on their farewell-tour in Vienna last spring.

    Well, i partly agree with Moonlapse_Vertigo's interpretation but when i read through the lyrics i think that it's not only about a specific relationship but more of a general struggle with authoritarian persons (maybe his father or homophobic politicians / christians) who 'judge from their seat' without meeting his eyes, meaning they don't really know him and his feelings.
    The Judas reference may refer to his disappointment in close friends who deserted him and became the same 'judges' he always hated after his 'coming-out'.

    Btw the emo-hardcore quarreling is not only childish but has nothing to do with 'song-meanings' so please keep in mind what's the intention of this site.

    P.S: As i'm not a native speaker, please correct me if i'm grammatically wrong or if you think i'm writing crap ;)
    Flag slightly_obsessedon January 30, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Fantastic!
    Flag Chaosdaveon April 13, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:how many times
    have I noticed that our eyes hardly ever meet
    from your judgment seat
    "i can feel the anger for my very being
    fill me in
    on when you became such a big part of my life
    that i should bother
    with all your lies designed to bring me down"
    This song is a very personal one from the lead singers own perspective, who is gay and he is describing a relationship he had with a guy that he could never feel complete or emotionally sedated in. He felt the guy accually passed judgement on him with how he looked at him and maybe the guy even questioned himself and his own identity. So because of the awkwardness & tension the person made him feel in the relationship, like when they would be out in public and how hard the guy made it for them to exist as a couple in others eyes he felt shunned & disenchanted .

    "i can see every light inside your brain
    go on every time that i walk by for noise and whispers"
    It wasn't comfortable going out in public with the guy cause people would whisper & the guy never made him feel any more comfortabel by how he acted as well."your comfort in my suffering is no longer disturbing" .

    "trade my life for a barrel of gold
    find someone else before i get too old
    if i live my life for aesthetic gain
    will you repay me with all your shame"
    This verse says he is so discouraged by the course of the relationship and where it has him emotionally that he would like to trade his life for better more golden one...find someone else before he gets too old, someone that would respect him and not thwart him in his own insecurities, apathy and shame.
    Flag Moonlapse_Vertigoon February 24, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I recently saw them live and before they played this song Nathan talked about how uncool labels and MTV is. It fits into their theme of having horrible labels working with them.
    Flag wheresthemusicon July 22, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:first of all, everyone arguing over "emo" and "hardcore" are absolutely retarded, i was going to defend some of those kids, but then i realized they were having the nerve to consider from autumn to ashes as either of these genre's...so i'll bite my tongue for now...this song is about the singer being gay, read the lyrics again, it should make sense
    Flag sen508on January 23, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:the last line seems to sum it all up as if it wasn't clear enough.
    Betrayal is the theme, or the failure of a one-way friendship...
    "you bleed me dry, and i dont ask why"
    his girl/friend/whatever has been living off him for too long now and he needs to end it - he/she/it just doenst care for him.

    "your comfort in my suffering is no longer disturbing"

    In my own...
    Flag eviction articleon April 26, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Right.... From his perspecitve, he is being stabbed in the back, that is his 'Life In The Knife Trade'. Sometimes you don't even have to read the lyrics to understand what a song is about. They just help.
    Flag skacore_dudeon January 23, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:This is one of the coolest songs ever i think, my favourite by bsf along with white wedding dresss... wich only has 1 comment and SO should have more cos its awsum. the lyrics are wrong tho, its not: Judas kiss I dismiss thank you all for this I am untouched I am...

    its unJUDGED.

    and i agree that its about friendship, i think the last line is realli true.
    Flag Pippinon November 26, 2004   Link

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