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(There is no dream)
So wake up run your lips across your fingers till you find
Some scent of yourself that you can hold up high
To remind yourself that you didn't die
On a day that was so crappy whole and happy you're alive
And you seem so bruised and it's beautiful
As it's reflecting off from you as it shines
You're in the bathroom carving holiday designs into yourself
Hoping no one will find you but they found you
And they took you and you somehow survived
(There is no dream)
So wake up and if the holidays don't hollow out your eyes
Then press yourself against whatever
You find to be beautiful and trembling with life
Because I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy
I'm so happy that you didn't die
So wake up run your lips across your fingers till you find
Some scent of yourself that you can hold up high
To remind yourself that you didn't die
On a day that was so crappy whole and happy you're alive
And you seem so bruised and it's beautiful
As it's reflecting off from you as it shines
You're in the bathroom carving holiday designs into yourself
Hoping no one will find you but they found you
And they took you and you somehow survived
(There is no dream)
So wake up and if the holidays don't hollow out your eyes
Then press yourself against whatever
You find to be beautiful and trembling with life
Because I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy
I'm so happy that you didn't die
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Say the first verse perfectly describes someone reminiscing a traumatic event. And the second verse talks about the changed persona of the person "you seem so bruised, and it's beautiful as it's reflecting off from you", and how they have turned to self-mutilation to cope, and how they don't want other peoples' help, or they don't think others can help them.
The third verse touches on how these instances can cause people to be very distant and unable to connect emotionally anymore "press yourself against whatever you can find" leading to cavalier relationships with others. The holiday implication I feel could refer to the traumatic event/events, I don't think it is supposed to be literal. And then he ends the song with "im so happy that you didn't die" in such a depressing tone it almost implies the exact opposite. Like it would have almost been better for this person to die in the event rather than live with the consequences.
Well that's what this song says to me. Because I feel it is a pretty tight fit.
text me in the middle of the night freaked out, after having a dream where I’d died. It was a horrible break up, and something that screwed me up far more than I ever thought it would. But getting that, and knowing that whatever had happened she still cared, it was weird. In the period, I knew her she was messed up by so many different things, and she fucked me up too, and maybe I should hate her for that, but I don’t. Sometimes life is just like that, I guess.
Anyway, Neutral milk Hotel are one of my favourite bands, I just love Jeff’s lyrics. They are beautiful, and they express so many different things, about life, death, love, sex, everything. Every song seems to encourage such a vivid image, feeling or emotion. ‘You seem so bruised....And you somehow survived.’ They are flat out intense.
maybe i'm being masocistic...
"To remind yourself that yoooou didn't diiiie on a day that was so scrappy, whole and happy, your alive."
That 'on' in that line just...gives me chills.
I'm gonna be honest, I didn't like the song all too much until I read the lyrics.
neutralmilkhotel.org/…
You seem so bruised
And it's beautiful as it's reflecting off from you as it shines" is the reference to peaches.
Beautiful song, and I agree "You're in the bathroom carving holiday designs into yourself" has to do with the stress of holidays trying to pretend to be happy for your family.