("Ha ha, well now! We call this the act of mating. But there are several
other very important differences between human beings and animals that you
should know about.")

(Whisper: "I'd appreciate your input")

Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me
and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch, you want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want you smothered, want you covered, like my Waffle House hash browns
Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola stock you are
inclined to make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

[Chorus]
(Do it now)
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Do it again now)
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Gettin' horny now)

Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific, I want to be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean, means "small craft
advisory"
So if I capsize in your thighs, high tide, be -5, you sunk my battle ship
Please turn me on, I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time", you'll Lovett just like
Lyle
And then we'll do it doggie style so we can both watch X-Files

[Chorus:Repeat x3]



Lyrics submitted by sawg

Track duration: 04:20

"The Bad Touch" as written by James M. Franks

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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The Bad Touch song meanings
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77 Comments

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  • 0
    General Comment:I think that this song is much more clever than people give it credit for. After he says "Gettin' horny now" there's horns, for example.
    Flag Lardarschon November 01, 2012   Link
  • -2
    My Interpretation:This song is deceptive. On its surface it is nothing more than a pretty piece of pop pastiche. However, delve with me into the underbelly of the song and I think you will find that hidden deep in the lyrics is an altogether more mournful lament about a dysfunctional sexual relationship.
    The first example of this alternate meaning is found in the very first line of the song. Texas droughts are notoriously damaging, especially recent examples. Could the author be saying that physical love with his partner is damaging him emotionally? This is in fact reinforced by the next line, where he explains that "only Prince would sing about" their lovemaking. But Prince has more than his fair share of songs about emotionally damaging relationships. Could the author for example be alluding to the chorus, and not the verses, of songs like "When Doves Cry"? The references to mammals and the Discovery Channel in the chorus are interesting, as they suggest that the author is thinking about and comparing his sexual relationships to those of other animals. He seems to wish that his own instances of intercourse could be as primal and instinctive as those on the Discovery Channel. Perhaps this is because the author is unhappy with his current experiences of intercourse. Perhaps, the emotional baggage not seen on the Discovery Channel is what he wishes to escape?
    The author also seems worried about his next encounter with his partner, as evidenced in second verse with the lines "if I capsize in your thighs, high tide", and "you sunk my battle ship". The use of the words "capsize" and "sunk" in this context suggest that the author is not actually enthusiastic about the prospects of the encounter, and might in fact be nervous or unhappy. The next line "please turn me on" can then be seen as a despairing prayer rather than an erotic suggestion.
    Finally, the last line of the song can be seen to confirm this lack of commitment to the lovemaking event. The author suggests that he and his partner might construct their lovemaking in such a way as so that they may watch X-Files while in the act. Is the author so repulsed or disinterested in his partner that he needs to watch a television program to take his mind off the fact that they are engaged in intercourse? It certainly appears to be the case.
    I hope that this exploration of the alternative meaning of this classic song inspires others to posit their own views on the author's work.
    Flag SuperOHYESon July 16, 2012   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:i think its about how people are acting more and more like animals, regarding Relationships and Sex

    but other then that its fkn ace
    Flag Leekduckon November 29, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:This song is in no way shape or form gratifying sex. It's a pop song, that makes fun of pop songs. The idea that pop songs are more so written about sex than anything else. They are writing a pop song that glorifies sex, in a very off the wall manner. How in the world could you think that someone would seriously write a song glorifying sex when he offers his lover to do her doggy style so that they could both watch X-Files??? It's satire.
    They write what they find funny. FUNNY. They are in no way saying "YAY SEX!" they are just writing for laughs.
    Flag purplebic3on July 30, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I just sung this song to my best friend.
    We can't stop laughing.
    Flag MomoTheStrangeon May 01, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Why would anyone try to interpret and analyze this? It's a novelty song people, and as such it's a damned good one. Just pour a cold one, kick back, and enjoy!
    Flag The Raton March 24, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:This is wicked awesome! Makes me want to get it on ;)
    Flag pringles21on November 26, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:What happened to the Stroke 9 version? I found it on iTunes a couple years ago, but now iTunes doesn't have it, even the lyrics aren't on here, and Best Buy doesn't have any Stroke 9 CDs. Is it a rights thing, or what?
    Flag DAMMIT360on April 26, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:This song is perposterous...and it's all the better for it.
    This song is an allusion to the Sino Prussian war of 1905, I believe.
    Flag SaltyChuckon April 18, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:no matter how vulger and gross BHG can get NO ONE can say that they can't be clever. there able to say all that and still have it connect and make sence (for the most part) lol
    Flag jefferyblackon January 17, 2009   Link

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