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Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
Lyrics submitted by Ice
Track duration: 03:18
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--When it comes down to the general meaning, it can symbolize the giant effect parents have on their children. All we are is what our parents have been. ("the killer in me is the killer in you")
--If you would want to look at it specifically, in terms of Billy Corgan's reasons for writing this song, it is about the child abuse he endured as a kid. Basically, he is singing to his parents, sort of taking pride in how far he has come. They thought he would amount to nothing and treated him terribly, but he became quite famous and successful.
The singer talks from a point of view of disarming someone with a facade of friendliness - like something so simple as wearing a smile, whilst ever so slowly tearing this person apart emotionally with 'paper cuts' over a period of time until like the straw that broke the camel's back - it breaks them, and they're forced to make their choice - their decision - as to where they stand. And thus grow up and join in the game like everyone else. Such that they might use their voice to defend their views and themselves.
It sounds like Billy Corgan went through this experience himself, and then went on to do it to others... at least from the point of view of the song... so very painful and sad.
This song reminds me of so many things... so many other songs too.
A great song. Makes me feel rather melancholy though.
They say the world is one gigantic mirror. If so, the pain and struggle of one person can't be distinct, can't be only his/her's--it would be everybody's pain and struggle. But they also say we only see what we want to see.
Say if one dominoes piece didn't fall down but stood upright?
As I recall, Billy's childhood was not ideal and he lived in an abusive home.
"Disarm you with a smile" refers to Billy's attempt to disarm his parents' abuse by smiling thereby keeping everyone happy and reducing the chance of conflict/violence.
"I used to be a little boy. So old in my shoes" is referring to Billy having to grow up too soon which is typical in abusive homes. Children become adults long before they should have to.
"The killer in me is the killer in you" refers to Billy contemplating a vicious & violent retaliation towards his parents while they slept but recognizing that the concept of violence to solve issues is what his parents have taught him through their abusive behavior. He sees that the violent thoughts he observed were only created as a result of poor parenting. If he hurt his parents, he'd continue the cycle and nothing would improve. Billy chose to break the cycle which can be seen in the lyrics "what I choose is my choice" or "what I choose is my voice."
A beautiful song despite the sad story behind it.
1.Disarm you with a smile= The boy is leaving, not suicide, but the last time he consorts with his parent he pretends everything is fine, and gives no hint that he's leaving.
2.And cut you like you want me to= his plan is to sever(cut) ties with his parent, and he feels the way his relationship with the parent is, that the parent wants nothing to do with him anyway
3.Cut that little child, inside of me and such a part of you= It's time to grow up and leave his childhood behind, sever(cut) the ties he has with the parent. Also "inside of me and such a part of you" is proof that it is a parent/child relationship.
4.Ooh, the years burn= He wants to permanently forget his bad childhood and start over, no plans of returning.
5.I used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes= He had to grow up faster than he should have probably because of neglect from the parenting, he was forced to take care of himself at a young age
6.And what I choose is my choice, what's a boy supposed to do? He's owning up for the choice of leaving, probably feels it's the best thing he's ever done.
7.The killer in me is the killer in you= The relationship is going to be killed by his choice. He understands his choice's role in the death of the relationship but feels the parent drove him to this radical decision and also shoulders blame for the severing of the ties.
8.My love, I send this smile over to you= He wants the parent to remember how happy he was the day before he left, and to link the two together, that he was smiling because he was leaving. He's happier without them.
9.Disarm you with a smile, And leave you like they left me here, to wither in denial, the bitterness of one who's left alone= The boy wants the parent to be utterly lost without him, to suffer. Right or wrong, he feels he's suffered so now the parent should, by his absence in their life.
10.And what I choose is my voice= He's writing and singing this song, probably to punish them more.
11.I send this smile over to you= I'm happier without you.