So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
All along I was scared to breathe
So afraid that the world was gonna leave me behind
In the dark I refused to see
That I was barely alive
It's such a bitter pill to swallow
But I learned to call it reality
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up and miss the misery
All along I refused to believe
Paranoid that my fear already left me to die
In the end when I stopped I could see
That I was feeding the lie
Caught in between another time and place
When no one cared to know my name
Feels like it's never enough
(When is it ever enough?)
I build it up just to tear it back down again
Fighting fate only to surrender
Only to surrender
I'm the worst at letting go
To the scars I loved the most
Will they bury me, bury me now?
Running from the worst in me
Left me broken, wondering
Will they bury me, bury me now?
It's such a bitter pill to swallow
But I learned to call it reality
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up, wake up, wake up
It's such a bitter pill to swallow
But I learned to call it reality
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up and miss the misery
I hold the key to escaping my reality
I hold the key to creating my identity
I build it up just to tear it back down again
Fighting fate only to surrender
Only to surrender
I'm the worst at letting go
To the scars I loved the most
Will they bury me, bury me now?
Running from the worst in me
Left me broke and wondering
Will they bury me, bury me now?
Will they bury me, bury me now?
They won't bury me, bury me now
So afraid that the world was gonna leave me behind
In the dark I refused to see
That I was barely alive
It's such a bitter pill to swallow
But I learned to call it reality
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up and miss the misery
All along I refused to believe
Paranoid that my fear already left me to die
In the end when I stopped I could see
That I was feeding the lie
Caught in between another time and place
When no one cared to know my name
Feels like it's never enough
(When is it ever enough?)
I build it up just to tear it back down again
Fighting fate only to surrender
Only to surrender
I'm the worst at letting go
To the scars I loved the most
Will they bury me, bury me now?
Running from the worst in me
Left me broken, wondering
Will they bury me, bury me now?
It's such a bitter pill to swallow
But I learned to call it reality
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up, wake up, wake up
It's such a bitter pill to swallow
But I learned to call it reality
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up
I didn't wanna wake up and miss the misery
I hold the key to escaping my reality
I hold the key to creating my identity
I build it up just to tear it back down again
Fighting fate only to surrender
Only to surrender
I'm the worst at letting go
To the scars I loved the most
Will they bury me, bury me now?
Running from the worst in me
Left me broke and wondering
Will they bury me, bury me now?
Will they bury me, bury me now?
They won't bury me, bury me now
Lyrics submitted by EternalTearsOfSorrow
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“MZRY” is the fourth single from Crown The Empire’s fourth full-length album Sudden Sky. The song explores vocalist Andrew Rockhold's struggles with his feelings & ruminating on them. He states that he didn’t know when the waves of not feeling adequate for anything would hit him. Explaining that he used to isolate himself and just lay in his bunk until the show.