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There's a county map to go on the wall
A hurling stick & a shinty ball
The bric, the brac, the craic and all
Let's call it an Irish pub
Caffreys, Harp, Kilkenny on tap
The Guinness pie and that cabbage crap
The ideal wannabe Paddy trap
We'll call it an Irish pub
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I swear upon the holy book
The only craic you'll get is a slap in the ear
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I'll up and burst yer filthy mug
If you draw one more shamrock in me beer
We'll raise the price o' beer a dollar
We'll make 'em wear a shirt and collar
We'll fly a bloody tri-colour
And call it an Irish pub
Jager bombs and double shots
The underagers think it's tops
We'll spike the drinks and pay the cops
We got us an Irish pub
The quick one in the filthy bog
The partin' glass across the lug
O' the lady-O, the dirty dog
We got us an Irish pub
It's over to me and over to you
We'll skip along the Avenue
And who the hell is Ronnie Drew?
We got us an Irish pub
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I swear upon the holy book
The only craic you'll get is a slap in the ear
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I'll up and burst yer filthy mug
If you draw one more shamrock in me beer
Plasma screens and neon lights
Kara-farkin-oke nights
The bouncers they can pick the fights
We'll call it an Irish pub
Plastic cups, a polished floor
We'll hose the blood right out the door
And let the knucklers back for more
We got us an Irish pub
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I swear upon the holy book
The only craic you'll get is a slap in the ear
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I'll up and burst yer filthy mug
If you draw one more shamrock in me beer
Oh top o' the mornin', Garryowen
Kiss me I'm Irish, Molly Malone
Failte, Slainte, Pog ma thon
We got us an Irish pub
Spike the punch and strip the willow
Strike me up the rakes o' Mallow
The Liffey never ran so shallow
We got us an Irish pub
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I swear upon the holy book
The only craic you'll get is a slap in the ear
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I'll up and burst yer filthy mug
If you draw one more shamrock in me beer
A hurling stick & a shinty ball
The bric, the brac, the craic and all
Let's call it an Irish pub
Caffreys, Harp, Kilkenny on tap
The Guinness pie and that cabbage crap
The ideal wannabe Paddy trap
We'll call it an Irish pub
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I swear upon the holy book
The only craic you'll get is a slap in the ear
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I'll up and burst yer filthy mug
If you draw one more shamrock in me beer
We'll raise the price o' beer a dollar
We'll make 'em wear a shirt and collar
We'll fly a bloody tri-colour
And call it an Irish pub
Jager bombs and double shots
The underagers think it's tops
We'll spike the drinks and pay the cops
We got us an Irish pub
The quick one in the filthy bog
The partin' glass across the lug
O' the lady-O, the dirty dog
We got us an Irish pub
It's over to me and over to you
We'll skip along the Avenue
And who the hell is Ronnie Drew?
We got us an Irish pub
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I swear upon the holy book
The only craic you'll get is a slap in the ear
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I'll up and burst yer filthy mug
If you draw one more shamrock in me beer
Plasma screens and neon lights
Kara-farkin-oke nights
The bouncers they can pick the fights
We'll call it an Irish pub
Plastic cups, a polished floor
We'll hose the blood right out the door
And let the knucklers back for more
We got us an Irish pub
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I swear upon the holy book
The only craic you'll get is a slap in the ear
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I'll up and burst yer filthy mug
If you draw one more shamrock in me beer
Oh top o' the mornin', Garryowen
Kiss me I'm Irish, Molly Malone
Failte, Slainte, Pog ma thon
We got us an Irish pub
Spike the punch and strip the willow
Strike me up the rakes o' Mallow
The Liffey never ran so shallow
We got us an Irish pub
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I swear upon the holy book
The only craic you'll get is a slap in the ear
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I'll up and burst yer filthy mug
If you draw one more shamrock in me beer
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A few translations/explanations here: 'Craic' can be fun or action; it's used as both I think "Shinty ball" is actually Scottish, it's a game vaguely similar to lacrosse. Caffreys, Harp and Killkenny are all Irish alcoholic drinks Farkin is a corruption of a naughty word. Ronnie Drew was the lead singer of the Dubliners. He also worked with the Pogues. Garryowen is a town in Ireland near Limerick. Failte is welcome in Galic, Slainte is "to your health;" and Pog ma thon means "kiss my" a word I can't say here. Liffey is one of the rivers in Dublin.
Overall I believe this is about one of the thousands of so-called Irish pubs in America, which is about 5% accurate to a real Irish pub. Americans haven't done this to just the Irish; there are also Scottish and British pubs just like that all across America.