Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion?
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny?
la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush 'cause I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime
I'll live like there's no tomorrow

Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week?
Up for being experimental? are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted?
...curious and communicative...



Lyrics submitted by SongMeanings

Track duration: 03:28

"21 Things I Want in a Lover" as written by Alanis Morissette

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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21 Things I Want in a Lover song meanings
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26 Comments

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  • +1
    General Comment:LOL...doesn't she mean one thing I want in 21 lovers...such as youth and beauty or those other deep, important, mature qualities that define those lasting, loyal, loving relationships.
    Flag TurnMeOnon January 24, 2013   Link
  • 0
    My Interpretation:I think it's so interesting to hear of the "embodiment idealism" when in relate to "who sings what". And we all can see how literalism in music is not had withins of this song ways, for forth we can sense easy sarcasm unto all of the thoughts within it if we think connotatively.
    Flag Calixtrrraon January 24, 2013   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:What a COOL song! I have never heard it so off to YouTube I go. Thanks for commenting on it so I can now check it out...
    Flag NooContacton August 06, 2012   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I don't know if Al =invented= "off-kilter syllabic emphasis," but she's certainly done it a lot. 21T =is= consistent with the values expressed in virtually everything else she's written since '94, so I don't think it's a send-up. The current boyfriend certainly fits many of the "qualifications."
    Flag naughtmoseson September 09, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I just feel so foolish because I thought the line "do you have many formed opinions" was "do you have money for my dependence" XD

    It's not my fault she always pronounces those "-ed" words with an extra syllable!! XD
    Flag Shmeemeron July 29, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW
    Flag gabachaon July 10, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW
    Flag gabachaon July 10, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I agree with butter-fliege in that the song is most definately not satirical because of the admirable qualities she chooses. I also think it has a great sentiment "I figure i can decribe as i have a choice in the matter" this means to me that it's ok to want things of people, and you shouldn't just settle.
    Flag forbiddensnowflakeon November 05, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I think is a great song, even though not her best, and I really can relate to the bridge part:

    I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
    I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
    there are no worries and certainly no pressure
    in the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow

    ... just because I'm not going to settle for any girl
    Flag ccs211on December 23, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:@ CakeAndSodomy69

    If you know most og Alanis' other lyrics you can be sure, that this song is not satirical, but absolutely serious.

    do you have a big intellectual capacity but know that it alone does not equate wisdom?

    are you both masculine and feminine?
    politically aware?
    and don't believe in capital punishment?

    are you uninhibited in bed?
    more than three times a week?
    up for being experimental?
    are you athletic?

    These and many more things are values she appreciates in life, in herself and also in other people, that's why I am sure she is looking for exactly these things in her lover as well.

    Moreover, if she'd wanted to make "satirical comment on how people have such set, picky ideas of what they want from someone", probably she would have picked out more superficial examples!
    Flag Butter-Fliegeon July 03, 2006   Link

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