This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Another shooting on the southeast side
This a drive-by, mid-day
Outside of the bus stop, by Fuller and Franklin
Or near there, not far from the park
About a block from where the other shooting was last month
Or was it last week?
Shots were fired from an SUV heading northbound, Eastown
The target a rival but they didn't hit the target this time
They hit a kid we think had nothing to do with it
And I travel backwards through time and space and
I disintegrate, become invisible
I wanna see it where I couldn't when it happened
I wanna see it all first hand this time
I want to know what it felt like
So I float behind police lines
Reconstruct the scene in fragments of memories
I wanna know what his mother looked like up close
I wanna see her leaning over his body
So I float there, transcend time
I wanna capture it accurately
I wanna know what the color of the blood was
Spilling out from the tarp onto the concrete
I wanna write it all down so I can always remember
If you could see it up close how could you ever forget?
How senseless death, how precious life
I wanna be there when the bullet hit
And the crowd poured out as the shots drowned into siren sounds
Out of their houses now and over front yards
All the way up to the place where the police tape ran to mark the crime scene
Everybody trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening
Of what was going on between the ambulance and all the cop cars
Everybody gossiping, "Whose kid got hit? Where'd it hit him? And who could've fired it?"
Everybody wondering, "How did it happen again? And is he dead? These children. Our kids"
Everybody wondering how far they were from where the victims live
And I visit them, their houses
Inside my dream I visit them
My spirit, soaring high and high up over King Park
Leaves the crime scene, travels further back
Til far before the shooting
Through their windows
To their living rooms
I see them younger this time, playing games and doing homework
All these marks of youth soon transformed coldly into stone
For fights and stupid feuds
For ruins wrapped in gold
And cruelly I recall why I have come to find a reason
But there cannot be a reason, not for death
Not like this, not like this
Three days later they made funeral plans, the family
Three days later a mother had to bury her son
Not far away the shooter holed up in a hotel
Near to the highway with a friend and the gun
That same gun
He'd fled immediately but was identified by witnesses
His picture on TV, only 20 years old
They called him "Grandpa"
He was older than the others by a year
Maybe two
And he was safe for awhile until somebody saw him there
And notified the authorities
Who surrounded the hotel, first arresting an accomplice while attempting to flee
Then chasing him up the staircase to the floor where he'd stayed
He closed the door hard behind him
Locked himself in the room
They could've kicked in the door
But knew the gun was still with him
One he'd already used and so they feared what he'd do
I floated up through the window of a room to the west
I hovered out to the hallway, tried to listen in
I heard them trying to reason, get him to open the door
His uncle begging and pleading, half-collapsed to the floor
He preached of hope and forgiveness
Said, "There is always a chance to rectify what you've taken
Make your peace in the world"
I thought to slip through the door, I could've entered the room
I felt the burden of murder, it shook the earth to the core
Felt like the world was collapsing
Then we heard him speak
"Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?
Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?
Can I ever be forgiven cause I killed that kid?
It was an accident I swear it wasn't meant for him!
And if I turn it on me
If I even it out
Can I still get in or will they send me to hell?
Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?"
I left the hotel behind
Don't wanna know how it ends
This a drive-by, mid-day
Outside of the bus stop, by Fuller and Franklin
Or near there, not far from the park
About a block from where the other shooting was last month
Or was it last week?
Shots were fired from an SUV heading northbound, Eastown
The target a rival but they didn't hit the target this time
They hit a kid we think had nothing to do with it
And I travel backwards through time and space and
I disintegrate, become invisible
I wanna see it where I couldn't when it happened
I wanna see it all first hand this time
I want to know what it felt like
So I float behind police lines
Reconstruct the scene in fragments of memories
I wanna know what his mother looked like up close
I wanna see her leaning over his body
So I float there, transcend time
I wanna capture it accurately
I wanna know what the color of the blood was
Spilling out from the tarp onto the concrete
I wanna write it all down so I can always remember
If you could see it up close how could you ever forget?
How senseless death, how precious life
I wanna be there when the bullet hit
And the crowd poured out as the shots drowned into siren sounds
Out of their houses now and over front yards
All the way up to the place where the police tape ran to mark the crime scene
Everybody trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening
Of what was going on between the ambulance and all the cop cars
Everybody gossiping, "Whose kid got hit? Where'd it hit him? And who could've fired it?"
Everybody wondering, "How did it happen again? And is he dead? These children. Our kids"
Everybody wondering how far they were from where the victims live
And I visit them, their houses
Inside my dream I visit them
My spirit, soaring high and high up over King Park
Leaves the crime scene, travels further back
Til far before the shooting
Through their windows
To their living rooms
I see them younger this time, playing games and doing homework
All these marks of youth soon transformed coldly into stone
For fights and stupid feuds
For ruins wrapped in gold
And cruelly I recall why I have come to find a reason
But there cannot be a reason, not for death
Not like this, not like this
Three days later they made funeral plans, the family
Three days later a mother had to bury her son
Not far away the shooter holed up in a hotel
Near to the highway with a friend and the gun
That same gun
He'd fled immediately but was identified by witnesses
His picture on TV, only 20 years old
They called him "Grandpa"
He was older than the others by a year
Maybe two
And he was safe for awhile until somebody saw him there
And notified the authorities
Who surrounded the hotel, first arresting an accomplice while attempting to flee
Then chasing him up the staircase to the floor where he'd stayed
He closed the door hard behind him
Locked himself in the room
They could've kicked in the door
But knew the gun was still with him
One he'd already used and so they feared what he'd do
I floated up through the window of a room to the west
I hovered out to the hallway, tried to listen in
I heard them trying to reason, get him to open the door
His uncle begging and pleading, half-collapsed to the floor
He preached of hope and forgiveness
Said, "There is always a chance to rectify what you've taken
Make your peace in the world"
I thought to slip through the door, I could've entered the room
I felt the burden of murder, it shook the earth to the core
Felt like the world was collapsing
Then we heard him speak
"Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?
Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?
Can I ever be forgiven cause I killed that kid?
It was an accident I swear it wasn't meant for him!
And if I turn it on me
If I even it out
Can I still get in or will they send me to hell?
Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?"
I left the hotel behind
Don't wanna know how it ends
Add your thoughts
Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.
Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!
More Featured Meanings
The Night We Met
Lord Huron
Lord Huron
Son Şansın - Şarkı Sözleri
Hayalperest
Hayalperest
This song seemingly tackles the methods of deception those who manipulate others use to get victims to follow their demands, as well as diverting attention away from important issues. They'll also use it as a means to convince people to hate or kill others by pretending acts of terrorism were committed by the enemy when the acts themselves were done by the masters of control to promote discrimination and hate. It also reinforces the idea that these manipulative forces operate in various locations, infiltrating everyday life without detection, and propagate any and everywhere.
In general, it highlights the danger of hidden agendas, manipulation, and distraction, serving as a critique of those who exploit chaos and confusion to control and gain power, depicting a cautionary tale against falling into their traps. It encourages us to question the narratives presented to us and remain vigilant against manipulation in various parts of society.
I Can't Go To Sleep
Wu-Tang Clan
Wu-Tang Clan
This song is written as the perspective of the boys in the street, as a whole, and what path they are going to choose as they get older and grow into men. (This is why the music video takes place in an orphanage.) The seen, and unseen collective suffering is imbedded in the boys’ mind, consciously or subconsciously, and is haunting them. Which path will the boys choose? Issac Hayes is the voice of reason, maybe God, the angel on his shoulder, or the voice of his forefathers from beyond the grave who can see the big picture and are pleading with the boys not to continue the violence and pattern of killing their brothers, but to rise above. The most beautiful song and has so many levels. Racism towards African Americans in America would not exist if everyone sat down and listened to this song and understood the history behind the words. The power, fear, pleading in RZA and Ghostface voices are genuine and powerful. Issac Hayes’ strong voice makes the perfect strong father figure, who is possibly from beyond the grave.
No Surprises
Radiohead
Radiohead
Same ideas expressed in Fitter, Happier are expressed in this song. We're told to strive for some sort of ideal life, which includes getting a good job, being kind to everyone, finding a partner, getting married, having a couple kids, living in a quiet neighborhood in a nice big house, etc. But in Fitter, Happier the narrator(?) realizes that it's incredibly robotic to live this life. People are being used by those in power "like a pig in a cage on antibiotics"--being pacified with things like new phones and cool gadgets and houses while being sucked dry. On No Surprises, the narrator is realizing how this life is killing him slowly. In the video, his helmet is slowly filling up with water, drowning him. But he's so complacent with it. This is a good summary of the song. This boring, "perfect" life foisted upon us by some higher powers (not spiritual, but political, economic, etc. politicians and businessmen, perhaps) is not the way to live. But there is seemingly no way out but death. He'd rather die peacefully right now than live in this cage. While our lives are often shielded, we're in our own protective bubbles, or protective helmets like the one Thom wears, if we look a little harder we can see all the corruption, lies, manipulation, etc. that is going on in the world, often run by huge yet nearly invisible organizations, corporations, and 'leaders'. It's a very hopeless song because it reflects real life.
Plastic Bag
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
“Plastic Bag” is a song about searching for an escape from personal problems and hoping to find it in the lively atmosphere of a Saturday night party. Ed Sheeran tells the story of his friend and the myriad of troubles he is going through. Unable to find any solutions, this friend seeks a last resort in a party and the vanity that comes with it.
“I overthink and have trouble sleepin’ / All purpose gone and don’t have a reason / And there’s no doctor to stop this bleedin’ / So I left home and jumped in the deep end,” Ed Sheeran sings in verse one. He continues by adding that this person is feeling the weight of having disappointed his father and doesn’t have any friends to rely on in this difficult moment. In the second verse, Ed sings about the role of grief in his friend’s plight and his dwindling faith in prayer. “Saturday night is givin’ me a reason to rely on the strobe lights / The lifeline of a promise in a shot glass, and I’ll take that / If you’re givin’ out love from a plastic bag,” Ed sings on the chorus, as his friend turns to new vices in hopes of feeling better.
"Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?"
Such power and emotion in that line.
The song is about a drive by shooting in Grand Rapids. A 20 y/o named Kyle Keenan shot a 16 y/o named David Witherspoon. Kyle was trying to shoot someone from a rival gang (one of david's friends.) when they got off the bus. david was walking with his friends then shots were fired and the one bullet that hit someone hit david, who had nothing to do with the gangs. kyle fled the scene and went to a hotel with his friend, and was safe until someone recognized him. they called the police and they arrived at the hotel, arrested an accomplice trying to get away from the hotel, and went after kyle. kyle then locked himself in the room and called his family, asking if he could still get into heaven if he killed himself, and he ended up shooting himself. the song is about two kids who didn't have to die. jordan does an amazing job making the listeners feel the pain that the families, witnesses, and even Kyle felt. "can i still get into heaven if i kill myself" is a very powerful line. it makes you feel the guilt that kyle was feeling. the song shows many sides to the story, and thats what makes it amazing.
I agree that the question screamed at the end is extremely powerful, but the lines that struck a chord with me the most in this song were "Three days later they made funeral plans. The family. Three days later a mother had to bury her son." Now there is the ultimate tragedy- a mother burying her son.
If anyone wants to read about the shooting:
wzzm13.com/news/story.aspx wwmt.com/articles/rapids-1353956-classmates-remember.html mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2008/09/special_response_teams_gather.html
After first listening to the album, this song definitely struck me the most. It's definitely my favorite of the album. The emotions in this song are crazy powerful. Not to mention, the lyrics are beautifully written. It's overwhelming.
La Dispute makes me proud to be from Grand Rapids. Such passion over such dreary topics.
"Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?" such a powerful question, such a powerful line.
This song is one of the most powerful I've ever heard. It's just...gripping. It forces you to listen, cling to every word, go into a trance. At the end where it builds up, it's almost impossible to not become a little shaken by it. The sound of the gun loading at the end of the song after he's left, if you're one of the people who have taken note of it, is enough to be close to shocking. They must have put so much thought into this to make it able to have this intense effect on the listeners, and must be not only musically, but psychologically talented.
King Park is a few blocks away from where I live, it's at Fuller and Franklin and my place is right off of Fuller and Fulton so I remember this incident well. Whole story is quite sad and this song is really powerful in its ability to convey the emotion the neighborhood felt.
He doesn't want to kill himself because he is suicidal and has no where else to go, he wants to kill himself to counteract the shooting, in a philosophical way. In his eyes, killing himself would even things out, but he is unsure if that will get him into heaven.
He also realizes his mistake, and it's his way of "repenting" because he feels guilt and doesn't want to go to hell for a simple mistake.
As they say, "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"
Has anybody else noticed the perspective of the lyrics? I find it interesting how the narrator began curious, but he couldn't find it in himself to stay for the ending.