Scratched out a note I wrote for you
to wake and read
to know that I was there once
I knew that there was nothing that I could write to assure you
of my return
But all the paper said when I was done is
'do you still want me?'
because I'd be terrified if I had to leave this place today
We haven't saved the baby

As I said
my darling
spring is constantly calling me
and there's no place that I'd rather be

I won't be angry
if you have to leave,
but I won't be waiting
for that day
So don't say you're sorry because
I won't believe you

Didn't see a sticker on the door when we walked in
but I know it's going to cost us
the same amount of love it takes to get you through
but it never moves you
I'd be terrified if I had to leave this place today
It's where I threw my love away
Then we saw a different side of 'Annie' nobody saw
She tried to kill the baby

and the earth and its skin will open up
and birth out a perfect mirror
that makes all our reflections clear

I won't be angry
if you have to leave,
but I won't be waiting
for that day
So don't say you're sorry because
I won't believe you



Lyrics submitted by HomerunHenry

Track duration: 05:31


Spirit Of The Stairwell song meanings
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23 Comments

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  • 0
    General Comment:I know it has already proven above that this song is about miscarriage, since Annie is Anthony's mother-in-law, but I can't help to think that it makes noooooo sense. If he has sang "Jamesy" instead of "baby" in one of his lives, then doesn't that mean this song REALLY is about James? "She tried to kill the Jamesy" I mean, it couldn't be about a miscarriage if it's about James, because James is alive, right? Well he might've just meant that if there wouldn't have been a miscarriage, his names would've also been James, but still. "It's where I threw my love away." maybe that's the part where he means his miscarriages and that he doesn't want for it to happen again? and "and the earth and its skin will open up and birth out a perfect mirror that makes all our reflections clear" means that James is their reflection and that he actually WAS born?
    Or........I don't know
    Flag Brrbrrbrrbrron July 01, 2012   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:personally, i think Anthony is writing from the hospital. when he says "because I'd be terrified if I had to leave this place today
    We haven't saved the baby" i'm almost positive its literal. he's saying that he refuses to leave the hospital without knowing that the baby is okay. also, Anthony is saying that if the miscarriage drives either of them away from each other it wont be something easily forgivable, almost as if that's what him and Meredith were saying the night of the miscarriage.
    Flag MasonManeon May 26, 2012   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I really, REALLY doubt Meredith has/had anorexia. Just putting that out there. I think some of you guys are looking a little bit too much into the Annie line.
    Flag afflictionateon April 29, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:This song is honestly one of the most heart-wrenching songs I've ever listened to. I literally broke into tears & sobbed when I first read these lyrics. For such a tragic topic, Anthony puts it all so beautifully. Needless to say, this is my favorite song off of Blue Sky Noise.


    My interpretation:
    "Scratched out a note I wrote for you to wake and read to know that I was there once. I knew that there was nothing that I could write to assure you of my return. But all the paper said when I was done is 'do you still want me?' Because I'd be terrified if I had to leave this place today. We haven't saved the baby."
    Clearly, he's leaving (I'm assuming to the mental institution that afflictionate mentioned). He tried writing a note to his wife before he left to let her know he's always been there for her, until now. He wants to let her know that he will be back, but knows that there's just no way of convincing her that's the truth. And all he ended up with on the note was questioning her if she'd still want him after he comes back home; when he's gone for the time. Nevertheless, he is hesitant to leave.

    "As I said, my darling, spring is constantly calling me and there's no place that I'd rather be."
    'Spring' meaning the time when they finally have the child. And 'no place that I'd rather be' meaning he's looking forward to the whole aspect of having this baby, he wouldn't want to spend his time any other way than raising it with his wife.

    "I won't be angry if you have to leave, but I won't be waiting for that day. So don't say you're sorry because I won't believe you."
    He understands if she wants to end the relationship after all of this, but he's not, nor will ever be, ready for that to happen.

    "Didn't see a sticker on the door when we walked in, but I know it's going to cost us the same amount of love it takes to get you through, but it never moves you. I'd be terrified if I had to leave this place today. It's where I threw my love away. Then we saw a different side of 'Annie' nobody saw. She tried to kill the baby."
    He's referring to anorexia as 'Annie'. They didn't realize what they may be getting into, given his wife has an eating disorder (read the comment posted by notyours), but they got pregnant anyway & it's cost them now. The eating disorder caused his wife to have a miscarriage. They never imagined this would happen though, & that's the 'different side of 'Annie' nobody saw.'

    "And the earth and its skin will open up and birth out a perfect mirror that makes all our reflections clear."
    This is the line that convinced me that his wife has anorexia. If you know anything about anorexia, you know that anorexics don't see themselves the way everyone else does; the classic picture of a thin girl standing in front of a mirror with an overweight person's reflection. So he's saying that this may be what it takes for his wife to realize how serious the eating disorder is, this disease has taken away their child. But maybe all of this is a blessing in disguise, which is what he refers to as 'a perfect mirror that makes all our reflections clear.'
    Flag WolfAndShadowon January 31, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I think this song may be written in the women's perspective. Things like the line "Do you still want me?" suggests that shes asking if he still wants her knowing she may not be able to bear children.

    And, in the chorus "If you have to leave", suggests that she doesn't blame him if he wanted to leave. And, I do think "Annie" may refer to Anthony.

    But, I am glad to say that Anthony and his wife now have a son named James.
    Flag CLOCKWORKVIOLENCEon January 13, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:hmmm does anyone else think this song might have something to do with "house of leaves" because i'm reading it right now and i just got to the part where one of the characters falls down the stairs, and the phrase "spirit of the staircase" was used. also the lyrics "a perfect mirror that makes all our reflections clear" can relate to the character who catches his reflection in a mirror afterwards, and says "i am not what i used to be". this is just a thought. i know circa has written atleast one song that has dealt with this book.
    Flag lizzytrueloveon December 19, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:sounds to me like annie "fell" down the stairs >_>
    Flag shaynedyckon November 28, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:I know this is not the real meaning of this song, but the first time I heard this song I imagined that it was about a man in the army writing to his wife, and being afraid that one day he'll come home to an empty bed. some examples:

    "Scratched out a note I wrote for you
    to wake and read
    to know that I was there once"
    >like he's been gone in the war for so long it almost seems like he was never there in the first place.

    "I knew that there was nothing that I could write to assure you
    of my return"
    >maybe saying that he wants to reassure her that everything will be all right and he'll be home soon, but the truth is that he knows that he could be killed any day and never come home.

    "But all the paper said when I was done is
    'do you still want me?'"
    >he knows how long she's been waiting for him to come home, and he knows that she may be becoming impatient or unfaithful in respect to both their marriage and hopes that he'll ever come back.

    "I won't be angry
    if you have to leave,
    but I won't be waiting
    for that day
    So don't say you're sorry because
    I won't believe you"
    >he doesn't blame her if she feels like straying away from their marriage because he's been gone for so long and there's nobody there for her to satisfy her wants and needs, and he wouldn't be too surprised if he came home one day to an empty bed.

    once again I know that this isn't even close to the real meaning of the song, but I thought that it was a pretty cool idea :0
    Flag alecpierzgshiton November 27, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:i saw these guys in kansas city last night, the show was really heavy before this song and everyone stood still. many people including myself were crying.

    before he sang, he said with strong emotion, "this song is for my son."

    it's just too beautiful, and extremely thought provoking.
    Flag megannppantson November 15, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General Comment:Sorry I didn't mention that she had 2 miscarriage's before this 3 baby, but the doctors said she is far enough along that the chances of her losing this one is less then 1 percent.
    Flag Ihaveasecreton September 22, 2010   Link

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